Just Act Maturely
by mediaocrity4
Summary: It's been one year since Ruby and Jaune hooked up. Now on the verge of new horizons they have to grow up and convince their closest friends to do the same. Sequel to Just Act Casually so cursing and pervy humor are a big part.
1. Chapter 1

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: Oh God no why? Back by popular demand and now significantly more lewd because this fic started as a means to cut loose with all the swearing and adultery I could handle and SOMEHOW it became my most popular story so here we go with a sequel! Just to prove my point, we're starting off on a….climax….of sorts...**

Chapter 1: Just Another Day in Your Pants

These were surely the best days of Ruby's life. She was at home without a care in the world. This, after a long night of drinking and what was turning into an even hotter and longer night of love making. It had been a year since she and Jaune first hooked up. A whole year since she first seduced him and rocked his world. Now, in a glistening melody of heavy breaths, sweat and athleticism, he was rocking her world.

It was quite the memorable climax to her night. Face down, squealing into the pillow while she white knuckled the bed sheets. Jaune collapsed soon after in a mess of sweaty breaths. Ruby moved her head to talk to him as he looked at the ceiling and readjusted himself.

"I love nights like this." Ruby sighed.

"Same." Jaune huffed. "Oh..." He trailed off.

"What is it?" Ruby asked.

"It's nothing." He assured. "Just thinking about how much I love you."

"I bet you say that to all the girls who suck your dick."

"Well...you're not wrong." Jaune laughed. "Allll two of them."

"Three." Ruby corrected.

"Nope. Never did that with Reese." Jaune corrected her back.

"Well, that was a long time ago." Ruby said as she poked his chiseled chest. "You're all mine now. This might be the oxytocin talking but you're far and away the best I've ever had."

"You're just saying that because I'm right here."

"Well, look at your competition." Ruby said, making Jaune think for a few moments.

"I guess." Jaune changed the subject. "Do you think the neighbors heard us?"

"Hell if I care." Ruby said. "It's not like they get all pissy about it." Ruby readjusted herself to prop up on her arm. "Glynda's really cool when she's not in work mode. Not like, Ren level cool, but way cooler than I thought she'd be."

"Still, she's scolded me about noise complaints." Jaune said.

"That's because you squeal louder than I do a lot of times." Ruby started cracking up. "Which reminds me, today when I got back from that little job...I may or may not have heard a certain general getting pretty loud in Glynda's apartment."

"That's an image I don't need to have." Jaune said as he fixated his eyes on Ruby. "Yeah...this image right here is what I want etched into memory." Ruby started to blush but cursed herself.

"Why am I such a fucking sucker for lines like that?" Ruby berated herself.

"Because you got your entire perception of the world from storybooks." Jaune said as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Not all of it." Ruby said. "I've had to grow up."

"Well, we're not quite there yet. But that's all the more reason to cling to that childish enthusiasm you have every once in a while."

"I'd rather cling to your mature orgasmic body." Ruby said as she wrapped herself around him. She gave a big yawn, inviting Jaune in for another open-mouth kiss. Her eyes started feeling heavy and drowsy. "What time is it?" She asked. Jaune quickly looked at his clock.

"Two in the morning." He said.

"Shit it's bedtime." Ruby got comfortable and closed her eyes. "You and I have our yearly physicals tomorrow."

"Well, after tonight I'd say we're pretty in-shape. What time did we come in here? Nine-thirty?"

"Something like that." Ruby sighed in content. She drifted off to sleep in mere moments after that. As long as they went, usually she'd be able to go longer. Or at the very least not pass out as quickly as she did.

They woke up a few hours later and ate a quick breakfast. Ruby was having a Monday sort of day and couldn't be bothered to put on her full getup. So, she settled for a sweater, leggings, boots a mini skirt and her cape. Jaune just wore a sweater and jeans proving that an under-dressed guy is way more under-dressed than an under-dressed woman.

They took bikes to the medical center. Jaune looked like such a dork in his helmet. Whereas Ruby felt like a badass with her cape flowing in the wind. Jaune had wanted to save up for a car but Ruby just couldn't see the use of it. It was too much money and too much work and too much of a hassle for the very limited benefits it had. If she had a long way to go she'd just as soon take a train or a bullhead and if the destination was too close for them to be viable, she'd just walk or ride her bike like today. Jaune did say he was saving up money for a moped though. Apparently Jaune was convinced that mopeds were cool. Hearing stuff like that made Ruby question whether she liked Jaune because of his dorkiness or in spite of it. Probably the former.

Ruby and Jaune had different doctors for these annual checkups. Jaune's doctor was an eccentric man named Dr. Steinman. Ruby's doctor was a pretty, olive-skinned Faunas girl named Dr. Night. Ruby's was the best her massive insurance plan could afford. Because of her lineage, and importance in the endless fight for human existence against the ever-present Grimm, her care was always a top priority of the Huntsmen leaders. Too bad that only extended to her physical health. They didn't care that she was an alcoholic and wouldn't care if she was homeless-all the less to keep her off the frontier where she belonged. Ruby didn't mind so long as their situational care didn't screw her over. She was perfectly fine with spending weeks or even months on end systematically exterminating every spec of Grimm in any given area.

After several awkward minutes of standing, sitting and having everything checked out and answering one of those questionaires with a lot of private and personal questions on it, Ruby was done. Dr. Night just had to send in the paperwork and Ruby had to wait for Jaune. But since Dr. Moon didn't have any other clients today, she decided to talk to Ruby a bit.

"So, how's Jaune been doing?" Dr. Night asked.

"Awesome." Ruby said with a bit more elation than she intended.

"Tell me, is it more...entertaining going out on missions with him, dates, or just lounging around home?"

"Tough question." Ruby said as she put a finger to her chin. "The easy answer would be home. But there's so many chores and cleaning and bill paying and neighborhood bullshit to deal with. I'd actually say going on missions. I just feel so free out there you know."

"That's why I even posed a question. Literally anyone else would have said home in a heartbeat."

"Well, I'm not anyone else." Ruby tossed her scroll in the air. "What about you? You don't have a wedding ring but do you have a special someone."

"I am talking to someone." Dr. Night said.

"Great to hear." Ruby said. "You know, you're always welcome in our apartment, just give us a ring."

"Can do." Dr. Night said. At that moment Ruby received a message saying that Jaune was done. "See you next time you need something."

"Or when you finally drop by." Ruby said.

"I'll see when I'm open." Dr. Night assured.

Next on the agenda was lunch with Jaune. She was going to make him pay for it. Granted she was going to pay him back with...favors. "Goods and services are a fundamental part of economics and I certainly have the goods." Ruby would say whenever she bribed him with sex. But she isn't "needy"-as Yang suggested-she swears.

"So what do you want for lunch?" Jaune asked.

"I don't care." Ruby said.

"How about A Simple Wok?"

"No, not that." Ruby said.

"Davy Crockpot's?"

"We just ate there yesterday."

"Vito's?"

"Ewe that's gross." Ruby teased. Jaune gave her a disapproving scowl. Ruby gave him a shit-eating grin.

"Don't be such a typical girl." Jaune huffed.

"I'm just fucking with you. Vito's is fine." Ruby submitted.

So they went to Vito's-a really good restaurant with food from all around the world. Vito was also a very skilled chef, powerful enough to have a semblance. That semblance may not be much in a fight but it made him a badass chef. He had a unique ability to determine exactly what people needed and wanted to eat. The fact he didn't broadcast that ability is what allowed him to keep from getting swarmed. But it did make him the most popular of local purveyors of fresh food.

"Hello!" Vito said in a singing voice. "Let's see, a fruit salad for Mr. Arc and uh..." He paused a moment. "Smoked sausage for "

"Oih, that sounds really good!" Ruby cheered.

"I know." Vito bragged.

They sat at a table and their food arrived promptly. Jaune and Ruby were talking about their respective physicals and how things have been for their respective families. Towards the end of their meal, Ruby ate her last sausage suggestively.

"And I thought Yang lived in an all-dick world." Jaune rolled his eyes.

"I've just been in a mood lately." Ruby said.

"I've noticed." He said. Then he lowered his voice. "I mean, you've always been...fit...and with a lot of stamina but last night was ridiculous and so was the last week or two. I'm having trouble keeping up."

"You've been more than adequate." Ruby said. "When we first started fucking, I was the one having trouble keeping up."

"I doubt that." Jaune said. "Don't women tend to have bigger drives."

"I don't know about that but we are harder to get off."

"Don't I know it." Jaune said. "I don't know if it's my luck or if it's all women but every girl I've been with go all night."

"Sounds like good luck." She winked.

"Yeah." Jaune sighed. "Sex hasn't gotten routine for you, has it?"

"Fuck no." Ruby was almost offended by the thought. "Has it for you?"

"No!" Jaune defended. Not for you anyway. It did with Pyrrha after the second year. But you and I fuck way more often than Pyrrha and I ever did."

"That's surprising." Ruby said. "Given what you told me and what I've um...heard...through the grapevine."

"Grapevine is code for Yang." Jaune said knowingly.

"Okay, Yang may have slept with Pyrrha."

"What the actual fuck?" Jaune's face was tearing between appalled and humored."How? When? Why? What the hell?"

"Alcohol. A year ago. Boredom...probably. And I just found out a few months ago."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I don't ever bring up Yang's sex life with you if I can help it. She catches enough shit from me...and other people...one of which literally shit on her."

"Okay, teah, gross." Jaune shook his head. "Did that actually happen."

"I don't think so." Ruby said. "More of a possibility than an actual thing."

"Ah." Jaune said. "Answer me this. Is there anyone in our old social circle your sister hasn't fucked?"

"I don't know, maybe!" Ruby threw her hands up. I just know she hasn't fucked you."

"Don't sound so mad about that." Jaune said. "I'm actually surprised she hasn't tried to...join us..."

"Who said she hasn't tried?" Ruby let slip out.

"Wow, this is a conversation I didn't think we'd have."

"She's my sister!" Ruby raised her voice. "That's a line I'm not wanting to cross. At least not anytime soon."

"Well, if you're fine with it, I'll be fine with it." Jaune said with a laugh. "Havent given threesomes any thought."

"Weiss or Penny." Ruby said without missing a beat.

"And you have thought about this." Jaune feigned surprise.

"Well, Weiss is my best friend and I know you like her and tried dating her and all that. As for Penny, she's a literal machine. Collectively they almost made me go bi."

"Yeah I don't really have someone like that." Jaune said. "Though, Ren is one handsome man."

"That he is." Ruby said. "I know Yang liked him but never went for him because she thought he and Nora were the cutest thing ever. But I must admit, Ren is pretty damn sexy."

"Have you talked to them lately?" Jaune asked.

"Not since they had that kid last year." Ruby said. "It kinda pisses me off that they're always too busy for anyone now."

"Yeah, even their friends in Mistral don't see them hardly ever."

"I really don't want a kid for a long time."

"You and me, we're better off getting married first." Jaune rolled his eyes.

"And that's not happening for a while." Ruby huffed. She had mentioned it several times before. She was absolutely deadset on marrying Jaune. Jaune was more reluctant. He waited four years with Pyrrha before even thinking about it and as soon as he did their relationship deteriorated. And it was only in hindsight that Jaune realized that his entertaining of the thought of marriage was him subconsciously realizing how stagnant their relationship already was.

"Penny for your thoughts." Jaune said.

"I want to go home and burn the calories from this meal."

"I might have just the thing for you." Jaune said. "I mean, fuck it, right? Ain't nothing better to do than make love to you."

"You're damn right." Ruby said.

 **AN** : **Happy Birthday Kitty-Kirishima, a lovely artist and friend of mine. I'm going to try to keep up a daily upload schedule but with school starting I don't know if I can. Thank you all for once again reading this trashy story.**


	2. Chapter 2

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: It feels good to be back writing something that people care about for whatever reason. This chapter is going to be pretty juvenile in some parts, but where would comedy be without fart jokes?**

Chapter 2: What Goes in Must Come Out

Jaune's day had started as it usually did the day after getting shitfaced. He was sitting on the toilet with his pants down taking a satisfying shit. As soon as he started pushing he released a fart that nearly shook the room and elicited a silent laugh from Jaune.

Then Ruby came in looking all sorts of woozy. She took one look at him, walked over to the tub, knelt over and started to vomit.

"Are you okay?" Jaune asked.

"Just feeling sick." Ruby said. "And not in that hangover kind of sick either." She leaned back and wiped vomit from her lips with some toilet paper. "It fucking stinks in here."

"Well, I am taking a shit." Jaune said flatly.

"Well...you stink."

"Hey, I'm not the one who barged in while someone was taking a shit."

"This time." Ruby reminded.

"I was trying to be efficient."

"You pissed on my legs." Ruby huffed.

"I told you to spread your legs so that I could pee."

"And when I started wanting to spread my legs for your dick, that's not what I had in mind."

"So what, I made up for it." Jaune said.

"Well maybe I wouldn't be annoyed if all that organic shit you eat didn't make your piss smell so bad. It makes your cum taste bad too which is why I don't let it in my mouth anymore."

"Well, maybe I prefer it that way." Jaune compromised. "But it's not like you smell or taste any better."

"Excuse me!" Ruby raised her voice. "You never complained before."

"Well I was expecting it." Jaune said. "Trust me, I've had enough different body parts in enough holes in your body to know what I'm talking about."

"Oh." It must have dawned on Ruby that Jaune was referring to her ass. "Well, if you don't like it then…" Her voice caught in her throat. "Then…" She keeled back over and vomited again.

"You're really sick." Jaune wiped his butt, flushed and sat next to her.

"Yeah." Ruby's voice was groggy. Jaune rubbed her back to comfort her. "That feels good." She groaned.

"Anything else I can get you?" Jaune asked.

"You can get me a milkshake." Ruby said. "I'm kinda craving that more than anything else right now."

"Okay." Jaune got up.

"Help me up." Ruby said dazedly. Jaune wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her up. "Take me to the living room." She commanded.

"Aren't we bossy today." Jaune groaned.

"Hush you." Ruby stumbled onto the couch.

Jaune started making her milkshakes in the kitchen. Ruby popped a movie on the TV. Out of the corner of his eye he could tell it was Dog Rain, a horror movie about animals falling from the sky to terrorize people. It was a really shitty movie but Ruby thought it was hilarious and adorable.

Jaune had just finished the milkshake when someone barged through the door. The instant action caused him to splash Ruby's milkshake into his face-which had to be a metaphor for something.

"Sup?" Yang said as she stumbled into the room.

"Yang!" Ruby cheered.

"What're you doing?" Jaune asked as he cleaned his face off and handed Ruby her shake.

"I just got in town. Rode all night." Yang threw herself over the arm of the couch to sit next to Ruby. "I need a place to stay."

"Again?" Ruby whined.

"Alright so after Blake and Sun kicked me out for fucking around, I was staying with Weiss. But things got awkward and I thought it best to get out of there."

"You slept with her?" Jaune guessed.

"Oh no, that happened years ago. Though, I think that certainly didn't help. It's just, all the guys there know me as Weiss' roommate or some bullshit and it's been really hard to be sociable and Weiss way of 'trying to help' wasn't really helping."

"Can you rewind to the part where you slept with Weiss?" Jaune asked. "I'd be very interested to learn how that went down."

"Have you talked to Sage since you broke up with him?" Ruby asked.

"He's all the way in Mistral. I really don't want to bother him and even if I did, I think I pissed him off with the shit I pulled." She put her head in her hands. "How come everything I touch turns to shit?"

"Still waiting on story time." Jaune said.

"Pig." Ruby coughed.

"Well I'm sure it was hot and cool at the same time." Jaune shrugged.

"Mother fucker, you stole my thing." Yang said.

"You didn't invent puns." Jaune said. "In fact, I knew you for like a year before I heard you make a single pun."

"It's because she has a sense of humor but absolutely no skill in making actual jokes or satire." Ruby said. "And she likes to lure people into thinking she's normal before she starts to pun."

"Well, that's how it used to be." Yang said. "Now I lure people into thinking I'm normal before breaking out the bdsm stuff."

"Didn't need to hear that." Ruby groaned.

"I wouldn't mind hearing about it." Jaune shrugged.

"God, why is everyone obsessed with lesbians?" Ruby scoffed.

"I think we're a bad influence on Jaune." Yang said. "He used to be so innocent, just like you used to be."

"I think it's because on a psychological level women are more aesthetically pleasing than men." Jaune said. "All people regardless of gender tend to associate round shapes with pleasant and rough shapes as unpleasant. Same goes for words. Because of that, women's propensity for rounder faces, chests, butts and so on make them more pleasing. Which is why lesbian women are more common than gay men and women are more likely to be bi or go through experimental phases." Ruby and Yang took a few seconds to let it sink in.

"You're such a fucking nerd." Yang said.

"Hey, I have a shitload of sisters and a lot of them are into art and all that stuff." Jaune said. "And every word of it is true."

"Well, I at least buy it." Ruby shrugged. "You could have just said that dicks look weird and I would have bought it though."

"Yeah, but I like that dicks are so offensive." Yang said. "Like, you can draw a pussy and decorate it to look like something else and no one will notice. But if it's remotely dick shaped and everyone will only see it as a phallic symbol."

"Deep down we're all perverts." Ruby said.

"Especially the quiet ones." Jaune said. "I mean Yang, you try really, really hard to be perverse. But the things Ruby says and does. She's nowhere near as outgoing as Nora but I'd swear she's even worse."

"What do you mean?" Yang asked.

"He's still butthurt about me shoving my hand up his ass just to see how he'd react." Ruby shrugged.

"You could have at least given me a warning!" Jaune said.

"How did he react?" Yang asked.

"He squealed and cried like a little girl." Ruby laughed. "And the look on his face…" Ruby's face was going red with laughter.

"Ruby, breathe." Jaune said.

"Oh, no I-" Ruby got up and ran to the sink and threw up.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Yang asked.

"She's just been barfy today." Jaune said. "I think she's just catching a cold. She was a bit more woozy and lethargic yesterday too."

"Oh." Yang said with a worried look.

"Yeah, so if you're looking for a drinking buddy tonight, I'm not available." Ruby said. "But if Jaune wants to go, I'll allow it."

"Don't you have any other friends?" Yang said.

"And what exactly is wrong with me?" Jaune asked.

"You're fine. Ruby's not. I'm not leaving my baby sister here alone when she's sick."

"Baby sister? You're only two years older than me." Ruby said.

"Well, I practically raised you while Dad was going through his little mood." Yang said.

"I appreciate it. But this is nothing. So either enjoy a night without me, find a way to have fun here or just fuck right off." Ruby said.

"We should probably just party here tonight." Jaune said. "Not really in a mood anyway and you're right Yang." Ruby gave him a mean look. "Not that you need us or anything. Just that it wouldn't be right to party without you just because you're under the weather."

"I'll get us some liquer." Yang said. "When I get back Ruby, I need a bit of girl talk with you."

"Alright." Ruby raised a brow. Yang strutted out of the door. "What do you think that was about?"

"Beats me." Jaune said. "I'm just glad she didn't storm in here while we were plowing for once."

"That does seem to happen a lot." Ruby brushed her leg. "But it's because she never ever knocks."

"And we do fuck a lot." Jaune shrugged. Ruby nodded her head.

"So, the time with Weiss started with Yang getting all buddy, buddy with team SSSN back when Weiss was dating Neptune."

"I like where this is going." Jaune said.

"Neptune kept getting cold feet about going all the way and his timidness caused Weiss to have a bit of a crisis about what she should do when it does happen and Yang...helped her out."

"Nice." Jaune said.

"I don't know all the details but I do know Yang...assisted them both if you catch my drift."

"I always do." Jaune nodded.

"And when Weiss broke up with Neptune she actually went back with Yang for a while. But as it turns out, Weiss isn't all that into girls so they only lasted a week. And that's when Yang started fucking Neptune-trying to make Weiss jealous."

"Of him or her?" Jaune asked.

"I don't fucking know. I don't even think she knows. She doesn't think about things before doing things. She sees something she wants to buy and has money for, she'll buy it. She sees someone who turns her on, she'll do everything she can to get them in her pants asap. Someone pisses her off and she'll bust their head open without a second thought about the consequences." She put her hands to her head and groaned.

"You hate being sick." Jaune said.

"I feel so fucking helpless when I'm sick." Ruby said. "I think it's because my Dad wasn't exactly...medically inclined and had us power through most of our colds and stuff with very minimal treatment. But it's mostly because being bedridden means you are literally just taking up space and not contributing."

"I don't know...I can think of ways you can contribute to combating my stress and boredom even when you're sick."

"Jaune, having sex with a sick person isn't a good idea." Ruby said.

"What about just making out with them?" He kissed her on the lips. She tasted pretty repugnant. "Ok, yeah, you taste like vomit."

"Not my fault."

"No worries. There's plenty of other places to kiss." He suckled his lips to her neck, eliciting a moan. "And so long as we don't go too far, we don't have to worry about Yang getting back with our pants down."

"She's never going to let us live that down." Ruby moaned.

"Which of the three was you're favorite?" Jaune said.

"Second." Ruby sighed. "At least that time we were so caught up in the moment, we didn't even notice. Even if I wasn't, I was trying to scramble eggs."

"You scrambled my eggs just fine." Jaune paused. "Actually, that sounds like a painful metaphor but I'm sure it's true."

"It probably is." Ruby let out an elated squeal when Jaune grabbed her chest from under her shirt. He pulled her shirt down and started massaging her breasts. "That feel so good."

"I'm barely touching them." Jaune said with a laugh. "Usually it's not until I do this that you make that noise." He squezed them a little harder.

"Ow." Ruby snapped.

"Sorry." Jaune said. "Guess I went a little too hard."

"I think this cold just has all my nerves on fire." Ruby said in his defense. They carried on like this for several more minutes until Yang got back. The blonde rolled her eyes at the sight of Jaune feeling Ruby up and kissing her.

"Alright guys!" Yang slammed the bag down. "Got plenty of food and drinks for us for tonight." She walked over to the bathroom. "Alright Ruby, to the bathroom for girl talk." She grabbed Ruby by the wrist and pulled her in.

"Anything you need to say, Jaune can hear too."

"I want to um...get it all by you first before I let Jaune know." Yang said.

"Oh, this is something serious." Ruby said.

"Either serious or nothing." Yang said as she shut the door behind them.

Jaune laid down on his bed while he waited. He was already turned on from the makeout session. With Yang here and Ruby sick, his chances of relieving himself were slim. He could always just take a nice long shower but, fortune favors the bold. So, while he waited for Ruby and Yang have their sister talk, he was going to go ahead and get started on himself.

They were in their for fifteen minutes. Every thirty seconds it seemed, Ruby would raise her voice. But Jaune couldn't make out what they were saying. When they finally emerged, Ruby had a dead look on her face. Yang seemed more worried than anything. Ruby was holding something in her hand, staring at it.

"What's wrong?" Jaune asked.

"Jaune…" Ruby said as she held it up. "I'm pregnant."

 **AN: This story is way more clever than I let on I swear. There's a lot of references and in-jokes and all sorts of stuff in here I just cover it up with very overt discussions of the dick variety. Also, thank you Hi-Powered for telling me the logical direction a sequel to Just Act Casually should take.**


	3. Chapter 3

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: This might be my favorite chapter. This is going to be so hilariously filthy and I love the idea of something like this happening. This has been in my head for a long time.**

Chapter 3: Weiss Queen Sunday

Ruby was vomiting over the toilet. Morning sickness was a pain in the ass. If she wasn't having terrible cravings, she was throwing it all up. If she wasn't doing any of that, she was desperate for sex. She was six weeks pregnant and feeling every bit of it. Her hormones were all out of whack. She was screaming a lot more and getting physical with Jaune-who was being incredibly patient with how scattered her brain was.

It wasn't all bad though. It felt really good having Jaune and Yang both wait on her hand and foot. Plus, she was still early enough to do plenty of stuff herself. But her favorite thing about this stage of pregnancy was how amazing sex felt. She had always had a massive sex drive and plenty of energy to burn off.

A lot of it has always been channeled into her hunts. For her, she couldn't explain it but there was something about the thrill of the hunt that turned her on. She'd often get off on watching Grimm run from her in fear. That made post-hunt sex her absolute favorite. When she'd go on hunts with Jaune, she'd often jump his bone right as the smoke settled out in the middle of the wilds.

But that couldn't compare to a sexual experience five weeks into her pregnancy. She was getting all lethargic and just wanted to relax. Jaune helped her by first going down on her and then pleasing her in a couple different ways until she had enough. A week later she still didn't really have enough. All her hormones were on a roller coaster and poor Jaune-or lucky Jaune depending on who you ask-was having trouble keeping up with her demands.

Ruby was still trying to wrap her mind around all this. They were using protection. They always did. Maybe it was because she was out of birth control for a little bit. The timeline certainly lined up. But what were the odds? Granted the odds increased with the sheer rapidity of their sex. But there had to have only been a small window and a small chance. Ruby still wanted it to be a dream, that this wasn't happening right now.

"I hate this." She groaned. "I hate this feeling. I'm not ready. I'm too young. I have too many things I still want to do. I don't want to take care of a brat for the next eighteen years. This fucking sucks!" She punched the floor.

"You are so childish." A voice echoed behind her. "And dimwitted and a drunk." Ruby turned her head to look at the voice's owner. Standing in the doorway was her partner and arguably best friend.

"Hey Weiss." Ruby said.

"You're eight months away from becoming a mother and yet here you are, throwing up into a toilet while throwing a temper tantrum." Weiss scorned.

"I'd like to see you deal with morning sickness." Ruby huffed.

"No thank you." Weiss took a seat at the edge of the tub.

"So, when did you get to town?" Ruby asked.

"Just a few minutes ago." Weiss said. "I'm here on a business venture. Whitley is overseeing all operations in Atlas while I secure and start up another facility here in the Vale area. Could be anywhere from a month to a year depending on how fast the other pieces start moving. Either way, gives me the perfect excuse to finally visit you here."

"Thanks?" Ruby picked herself up. Weiss put a hand on her bare stomach. "It's not big enough to feel anything yet."

"I know. Just trying to wrap my head around the thought of you and Jaune procreating." Weiss said. Ruby stuck her tongue out in response. "You look like shit by the way."

"Don't have to be such a bitch about it." Ruby said. "I'm pregnant. Not exactly the kind of thing that makes life easier. I mean, fuck! I can't even wear overly tight clothes anymore! And now Jaune's getting ran ragged out there because of me. Yang's inserting herself back into my life. My dad was, surprisingly calm about it but his parents through a fucking fit."

"I bet your dad lit up when he learned he was going to be a grandpa." Weiss said.

"Yeah, I wish I could have seen his face. When I told him, we were on the phone and he wasn't available to voice chat. He said he's going to give Jaune a serious talk when he gets back from his current hunt."

"Yeah, I heard Tai was doing missions again. He's actually been working with my sister on some things."

"That's cool." Ruby said with a sigh. "Weiss, you have my back no matter what right?"

"Stop." Weiss put her hand up. "I'll support you however I see fit. But you can't rely on me. You're about to be a mother and Ruby...you're going to have to be there. You can't be a loner. You can't just run off to slay Grimm at every available moment. You can't just lock yourself in your room to bang Jaune in your freetime. You have to worry about food, and entertainment, and clothes, and health and everything that child is going to need."

"You say that as if I don't realize it." Ruby said as she crossed her arms.

"You're smart but you're amazingly stubborn." Weiss said. "You know all this but when it comes to putting your money where your mind is you're stupidly reluctant, if you go through with what's right at all."

"I always do what I think is right." Ruby said.

"Maybe when it comes to saving the world or doing the obvious things. But when it comes to taking care of yourself you're sorely lacking." Weiss ran her finger on the floor to show it hadn't been cleaned in a long time. "How can you expect to take care of a small child if you can barely take care of yourself?"

"I can take care of myself!" Ruby raised her voice.

"A year ago you were having a crisis over not being able to afford this place by yourself."

"Yeah, and then Jaune moved in." Ruby said.

"And I'm happy about that. Jaune's a great guy and I know you two are going to be together for a long time if not forever."

"I think we'll be together forever." Ruby said.

"Not my point. Jaune's stable, you're not. That's my point."

"Since when do you have high opinions of Jaune?"

"When it comes to his courage and fortitude he's virtually without peer. He's also not bad looking. But he's a dork and not exactly my type. That's why I never really dated him. You two are perfect for each other though."

"Hmm…" Ruby hummed. A devious idea was crossing her mind. "He's such a good boyfriend too. I mean, the sex alone would be enough for him to be a keeper but damn! All the other things he does for me...and to me...and just around the house and stuff is so awesome."

"I'm not really concerned with your sex life." Weiss fidgeted around.

"Well, tell me about yours." Ruby said.

"I don't want to bother."

"Weiss, we're alone in my bathroom hanging out. This is the perfect time to bother me with your sex life."

"There is no sex life." Weiss sighed.

"Come again?" Ruby blinked.

"I haven't had sex in almost a year. I've just been so damn busy all the fucking time."

"You really got to stop overworking yourself." Ruby said.

"If I let up, I just know Whitley will fuck me over." Weiss massaged her temples. "That's why I need this new facility to take root and succeed."

"Sit down here." Ruby sat on the toilet seat and tapped her foot on the floor. Weiss took a sanitation cloth from her purse and wiped the floor down before sitting at Ruby's feet.

"It's been stressful." Weiss said. "And unlike Whitley, I'm not willing to have my secretary go down on me while I work. Sorry by the way."

"Water under the bridge. Whitley can choke on his own dick for all I care but whatever he's getting, I can assure you Jaune is getting way more, way better, way more often. Man's like a stallion I swear." Ruby started massaging Weiss shoulders. She noticed the heiress fidgeting more the more Ruby talked about her sex life.

"I'm so glad that your sex life is so amazing." Weiss was audibly frustrated.

"I'm not trying to brag." Ruby said.

"Could have fooled me." Weiss said.

"I used to be terrible at massages. Yang's pretty good and so is Jaune. Not sure which one is better. Jaune's more delicate." She ran a finger through Weiss' back, causing her to shudder. "But Yang has that vibration function on her arm."

"I know!" Weiss yelped as Ruby popped one of her neck vertebrates. "If you're trying to hook me back up with your sister, I don't think it'd happen."

"You're too good for her." Ruby complimented.

"I can keep up with her in just about every way though." Weiss admitted.

"Describe it." Ruby whispered.

"Ruby, are you trying to use me to expand your spank bank?" Weiss said.

"No, of course not." Ruby said. "If I asked for you to describe say, the kinds of stuff you and Neptune would do, then an argument could be made. But I'm not a lesbian and I'm not even really bi. I'm doing this all for your benefit."

"If I wanted to relieve stress I'd take a long shower." Weiss' voice was shaking.

"I have a better idea."

"What's your game Ruby?" Weiss' voice was threatening.

"Just something I've thought about off and on the last few years. Something I know Jaune would love. Something to relieve your stress, better scratch that insatiable itch I've been having and give Jaune and I a memorable experience we've never had."

"Oh no." Weiss groaned. "I am not helping you fuck your husband."

"Technically you'll be helping him fuck me." Ruby corrected. She latched her lips onto Weiss' shoulder. Weiss shot up with a fierce look in her eyes.

"This is so inappropriate." Weiss said.

"Come one Weiss, we may never get this opportunity again. You're the only one I'd ever want to have a threesome with."

"Have you ran this by Jaune?"

"Jaune's more than fine with you. Hell, if we do this I'll probably have him wrapped around my finger for years. And it was my idea. I'm the one that said that if we ever have a threesome it'd be with you. But with a baby on the way, who knows when we'll be up for that sort of thing. All that's missing is your approval." Ruby stood up to look her partner in the eye. She stuck a knee in between Weiss' legs.

"Ruby!" Weiss tried to sound stern but her resolve was fading.

"You are such a useless bisexual." Ruby laughed as she felt a moistening between Weiss' panties.

"Stop this Ruby." Weiss ordered.

"No." Ruby grabbed her scroll off the sink. She sent a quick message to Jaune, telling him to get home quick, and a message to Yang telling her to stay away while her and Jaune have some fun. Yang quickly messaged her back, asking about Weiss. Ruby messaged her back saying that it's taken care of and that Weiss is busy.

"Ruby I…" Weiss stopped when Ruby pulled her into a kiss and gripped her butt. She led Weiss into the bedroom and tossed her down. She climbed on top of the heiress and that's when he came in.

"Ruby what's up?" Jaune said. He took a minute to process the picturesque image of Ruby straddling Weiss.

"Jaune, please talk some sense into your...babymomma." Weiss pleaded but Ruby could tell she was on the last verges of sanity.

"Ruby, if you're horny just let her go and have at me." Jaune shrugged.

"This is for both of us AND her." Ruby said. "Come on Weiss. Don't you want your first experience in a year to be something this memorable?"

"I do but…" Weiss' eyes darted from one to the other. Ruby was eager and predatory. If Weiss refused again, she'd let the heiress go. If that was the case, Jaune best be prepared for the ride of his life. Jaune on the other hand looked timid and awkward and eagerly awaiting Weiss' answer.

"Please!" Ruby whined one last time.

"I...fuck it!" Weiss said as she sat up and started untying her dress. "Jaune, you better be able to cash the checks Ruby has been writing or I'm going to be pissed."

"Yay!" Ruby cheered. "You know Weiss, if you ever get pregnant, I have to warn you that hormones are a deadly thing."

"I've noticed." Weiss huffed. "I'm only doing this because we're best friends and I think we're both a little needy. Also, Yang NEVER hears about this."

"I'll try not to tell." Ruby said as she pulled her shirt off and helped Weiss undress. "I'll let the two of us get warmed up while Jaune watches. Then, we can both have at him in any way we want."

"This isn't my first three-way you know." Weiss finished undressing. "If anything, I should be guiding you." She looked over at Jaune, whose jaw was on the floor.

"I wasn't ready for this today." He mumbled.

"Like what you see?" Ruby said as she grabbed one of Weiss' boobs. Jaune was silent for a moment.

"I'm not going to say anything for fear of ruining the moment." Jaune whispered.

If not for Ruby's spiking hormones this day would have never played out the way it had. Jaune and Weiss together were enough to fuck her to the point of passing out. Judging by Weiss' silent whimpers throughout the session, she was thoroughly satisfied too. Jaune was the truly lucky one who got to plow two gorgeous women for the price of one. Granted, he didn't get a lot of time with Weiss compared to Ruby. All in all, if not the best day of her life it was certainly among the most memorable.

 **AN: I've kinda hinted at an enjoyment of threesome-based ships before. Usually they involve Yang but this is one I can see happening. Even without the context of this story, I hinted that this may have happened in the RWBYond continuity. Now it's time for me to retire on this final night of Summer vacation.**


	4. Chapter 4

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: First Day of the semester was a bust. At least I got to see the eclipse while I was at work though. That was pretty freaking awesome. You know what else is awesome? Nothing because life is pointless...eat Arby's.**

Chapter 4: How Yang Got Her Groove Back

Yang scratched her boob as she woke herself up. She had an earsplitting headache from drinking the previous night. She was also half naked with a sheet pulled over her stomach. Her hair felt disgusting. Her whole body felt disgusting. She must have had quite the night the previous night. Her idea was dashed away when she found no sign of anyone having joined her.

Yang's prosthetic arm was discarded and on the floor. On whiff of it told Yang everything she needed to know about what she had done with it the previous night and how badly it needed a wash. Her whole body needed a wash.

She exited what would have been her room had she not ditched Ruby and what would have been Jaune's room if they weren't fucking. When she stepped out of the room she was wearing nothing but panties and a towel draped over her shoulders. She'd worry about clothes after she washed up.

She took a quick, hot shower to clean herself off. Then instead of getting out, she switched to a bath. She had been in the bathroom for a total twenty minutes before someone knocked on the door.

"Yang, I'm coming." Ruby declared as she opened the door.

"Sounds more like Jaune's business than mine when you're coming." Yang teased. Ruby shut the door behind her and took a seat on the toilet. "Morning sickness?"

"I think that's on its way to pass." Ruby said in a cheery voice. Ruby was now nearly three months pregnant. She had put on a bit of weight but the baby wasn't really showing yet.

"So, how was your night?" Yang said.

"Same as every night." Ruby said. "Not to brag but if this is what Jaune is like when I'm pregnant I might want to pop out kids more often." She laughed.

"That's a terrible thought." Yang said. "A child isn't some plaything Ruby. Yours especially. If it has silver eyes it could be vital for humanity's safeguard."

"You think I don't already know that?" Ruby huffed. "I was kidding anyway. I don't want to go through any of this again."

"Next time might not be so bad. Besides, maybe next time it'll be planned."

"I did plan to have kids one day." Ruby said as she rubbed her stomach. "It's fucked up to think of it this way but it is one of my duties as a huntress and guardian."

"Have you thought about a name?" Yang asked.

"Not really." Ruby shrugged. "We're not even a third of the way there yet." Ooh, which reminds me, I scheduled my first ultrasound to happen in two weeks."

"Wonderful." Yang moped.

"What crawled up your cunt and died?" Ruby asked.

"Nothing." Yang sighed. "And that's the problem."

"Didn't get any last night?" Ruby guessed.

"Oh I got some with Mr. Ember Celica over there." She pointed to her prosthetic.

"Well that's...strangely pathetic."

"It fucking sucks." Yang fumed. "I've been in a funk for months now. I want sex. I want someone to bend me over and and make me scream out their name but I can't."

"Really?" Ruby sounded surprised.

"And it's not the guys either." Yang said. "I still get plenty of them buying me drinks and wanting to take me home with them but everytime I think I'm having a good time it just….gaaaah!" Yang gave a frustrated scream. "I feel sick to my stomach and start hating myself."

"You know what that is right?" Ruby said.

"No?"

"You're guilty." Ruby said. "Yang, whatever happened between you and Sage and...frankly anyone else you've had for more than a one-night-stand...has caught up to you. Your mind and heart are telling you just how pointless it all is."

"Did…" Yang went into fetal position in the tub. "Did it happen with you after Whitley?"

"A little bit. But it was different. I knew I wasn't at fault, he was. If anything it damn near made me a lesbian but then I remembered that most guys aren't Whitley."

"I hear that." Yang smiled. Ruby got up off the toilet.

"I'm going to find a way to help get you out of this funk." Ruby pulled her panties back up and flushed the toilet.

"I don't think a threesome with you and Jaune is going to help." Yang teased. "But I am open to the idea." Yang said as she lifted a leg up.

"Who the fuck told you?" Ruby huffed.

"Um...I could hear you guys." Yang said. "Well, actually I know the look on Weiss' face after she's gotten some. And I could smell it. And then I heard you later that night. Next day, same elated look on Weiss' face." Yang laughed. "Jaune must have fucked her good for her to come...back for more."

"I'll have you know." Ruby leaned down to look Yang in the eyes. "Jaune barely touched her. That was almost all me." Yang blinked suspiciously but Ruby seemed to be telling the truth. "Enjoy your bath big sis." Ruby said as she shut the door.

"Mother fucker." Yang gasped as she clenched her eyes shut.

She got out just a few minutes later and spent the next hour making sure her hair was perfect. This much hair was incredibly high maintenance. It was no wonder people like Ruby kept it so short. But that's precisely why Yang was able to take pride in it.

She picked out some nice clothes. It was likely that she was going out again tonight and trying to get over herself again. Beauty was only skin deep but it was always instrumental in getting the right first impression. When she was done she looked at clock. It was 5:30 at night. 5:30?

"What the fuck?" Yang asked herself. She barged into the living room. Ruby and Jaune were watching TV on the couch while Weiss fiddled with their coffee maker. "Why didn't you tell me it was already night?"

"Yang, I was talking to you over two hours ago." Ruby said.

"You're fucking with me." Yang accused.

"Nope." Ruby popped.

"Fuck." Yang repeated.

"Something wrong?" Weiss asked.

"No just...wasting my life away." Yang huffed. She stood over with Weiss. "So, what're your plans for tonight?"

"The point of me coming here is that I don't have plans and would much rather spend time with my friends than with the same kind of stuffed up pretentious asshat my father tried to turn me into."

"I'd say he succeeded." Yang teased with a poke to the ceo's stomach.

"Hush you?"

"I can see what's happening." Ruby sang along to the movie. "And they don't have a clue." She started climbing on Jaune and making out with him.

"I was going to go out to a club." Yang said.

"I have a better idea." Weiss said.

"Do you?"

"Yes, you're problem is that you always manage to find the dingiest, shit-hole dive bars everywhere you go. You're never going to find quality people in a place like that. Only brutes who want to take advantage of you."

"Let them try." Yang put her hand on her hips.

"Not my point." Weiss said.

"Well, can you please still let them try. I kinda like being at the mercy of someone I consented with." Yang purposely sounded giddy.

"Ruby." Weiss ignored Yang's last statement. Not that she didn't care. She heard it all before and knew as well as anyone. "Would you two care to join us?"

"Can't drink with a bun in the oven." Ruby said.

"Yeah, I'm good." Jaune said when Ruby gave him a chance to talk.

"Do you want us to leave?" Yang asked.

"Yes please!" Ruby shouted at the same time Jaune yelped "You're fine here!"

"How do you live with that?" Weiss asked.

"Really good headphones." Yang said. "Let's go."

Weiss called a cab and took Yang to a nice jazz club that sat at the top of a massive hotel. The entire place was tinged in blue. Yang predicted that it would be filled with high-society pricks like Weiss' family. But instead, there was quite a diverse group of people there.

"What'll you have to drink?" The mustachioed bartender asked.

"Scotch." Weiss said.

"Whiskey." Yang said. The bartender promptly brought them their drinks. Yang slammed hers down. "Keep'em comin' man." Yang said. "I take it you're paying for this?"

"Of course I am." Weiss said. "But be mindful of my generosity."

"Can do." Yang said. "So, how'd you find this place?"

"This is actually the hotel I'm staying at." Weiss answered. "When I was dating Flint, he showed me all the cool places." Weiss sighed. "I still prefer classical music but jazz does put me in a good mood."

"Whatever happened to Flint?" Yang asked.

"It just wasn't clicking. We're still friends though. He's a better drinking buddy than he is a boyfriend."

"That doesn't make it awkward?"

"Not anymore." Weiss said. "It's actually more awkward being here with you than it was last time I was out with him."

"Does that have anything to do with how you fucked my sister and her husband?"

"Probably." Weiss laughed. "It was enjoyable."

"I could tell as soon as I got there and you had that same dazed and loopy look on your face. For someone who likes to be reserved and quiet, even in the most intimate of moments, you are the worst at hiding your post-orgasm bliss face." Weiss' face went red.

"Can you not say that out loud?" Weiss stared at her drink and moved a strand of hair to the side of her face. "Ruby told me about your little funk." Weiss said.

"Is that what all this is about?" Yang asked.

"It's a big part of it." Weiss nodded. "Yang, you're twenty-six, damn near twenty-seven."

"Same with you." Weiss said. "I know, but unlike you, I had a big sister to prepare me for this. And she's seven years older than me so any problems she's had are long gone by the time I encounter them."

"You're point?"

"You're having a quarter-life crisis." Weiss huffed. "You see how happy Ruby is with Jaune and how they can't keep their hands off each other. You saw Nora and Ren go the same way and I can only imagine Blake and Sun was way worse to watch. You feel alone and guilty that, one way or another you've driven every chance at happiness away. You want that relationship. You want someone who's going to get between the sheets with you at every possible turn. You're afraid you'll never get that with a stranger and you've already ruined your odds with all your friends."

"That's not remotely true." Yang argued. "Well...what about you? You're a single pringle."

"That's precisely why I'm able to say this without coming off as condescending." Weiss put a hand on Yang's leg. Yang hadn't even touched her drink after the second glass.

"Do...you want to get out of here?" Yang asked.

"I want to help you...and hopefully help myself in the process." Weiss winked. "No one has to be alone anymore."

Within a minute, they slammed through Weiss' hotel door. It had been a long time since Yang had tasted Weiss' lips. Her lipstick tasted like cherry but their was the unmistakable linger of scotch on her breath. Yang grabbed her lover by the ass and lifted her up, prompting the ice queen to wrap her legs around Yang's waist.

"Wait." Yang stopped as she propped Weiss against the wall. "Are you sure this is alright? Are you sure this won't just make this worse?"

"Yang, I love you. Maybe not to the same extent that Ruby loves Jaune or Blake loves Sun but...Yang I know you fucked up. But I forgive you. I forgive everything you've done. Now, forgive yourself and take your Goddamn clothes off."

Yang set Weiss down and pulled her jacket off. Weiss followed suit. When they were down to their undergarments, Yang grabbed Weiss with a yelp and threw her onto the bed. Weiss pulled her in closer and put her head firmly within Yang's boobs.

"You like?" Yang asked.

"They're soft." Weiss muttered. "Not much for boobs though. They always make me jealous." Weiss continued as she started playing with the doughy orbs.

"You're fine." Yang used her left hand to play with one of Weiss' smaller and perkier breasts and eased her prosthetic hand between Weiss' legs. "You want to cum first?" Yang asked. Weiss cupped her cheeks.

"I don't care! Just fuck me already." Weiss quickly descended into that familiar heat. Yang sat herself up and removed her panties. She ripped Weiss' off with a smooth motion. Now they were both completely nude and grinding their crotches into each other. Weiss gave whimpering moans at even the slightest movements.

It was indescribable. Somehow, it felt way better than any other time they had slept together. Probably because of how long it had been for both of them. Yang didn't care. In that moment the only thing that mattered was that her and Weiss were back together. As Yang eased herself down on the Atlesian, only 3 words crossed her mind.

"I love you." She said before diving her head between Weiss legs.

"Yay!" Was all Weiss' excited mind could mutter.

 **AN: I'm such a trashy person when I want to be. One of the things I want in this series is the stuff I thought about but decided against in RWBYond. Freezerburn is certainly one of those things. Really, any ship with Yang is bound to be hot and any ship with Weiss is bound to be sweet. So, why not both?**


	5. Chapter 5

Just Act Maturely

AN: Pretty productive day yesterday when I wrote the last chapter AND finished my latest RWBY video on YouTube. I wonder if I'll have a day that productive again anytime soon. Well, this chapter is probably more what people were expecting, and some that people weren't.

Chapter 5: Popping More Than Questions

Jaune was sitting with a glass of alcohol in his hand and an uncomfortable bulge in his pants. Weiss and Yang were sitting at the table with him. Ruby was in bed sleeping, leaving the three to themselves. Jaune felt guilty about drinking. When he saw how miserable Ruby was without her alcohol, Jaune had decided to join her in her temporary sobriety. But either he didn't have the willpower or the two girls with him were overly persuasive.

"I'm bored!" Yang groaned. Weiss was more interested in filing her nails than giving Yang attention. "Can we go back to your hotel and have fun?"

"Must everything be about sex with you?" Weiss huffed.

"Only when I'm this fucking bored." Yang laid her head on the table. "Jaune knows what I'm talking about."

"I do?" Jaune asked.

"Don't play coy. I know you and Ruby sit around and fuck all day to pass the time."

"I don't really see how that's your business." Jaune mumbled.

"And I'm not Ruby or Jaune." Weiss said. "Unlike SOME people I can go days without even thinking about sex."

"Really? Because any day I touch you, you turn into putty."

"That's because you are seducing me." Weiss said. Yang leaned into her and bit the Ice Queen's shoulder.

"We don't HAVE to go back to the hotel." Yang said.

"It's not about going all the way back to the hotel." Weiss was getting annoyed. "We're hanging out with Jaune and waiting for Ruby to get up. I'm not about to have sex in their apartment while Ruby's asleep and Jaune is forced to be in here alone."

"He doesn't have to just sit here. He can use that time to jerk off or watch us or even join us."

"He is also sitting right here." Jaune said.

"Absolutely not!" Weiss shouted, ignoring that Jaune had said anything.

"It's not like he hasn't plowed you before." Yang said.

"A threesome with him and Ruby is one thing, you're an entirely different story." Weiss huffed.

"Thanks." Jaune sighed in relief.

"Then he can watch." Yang offered.

"He will do no such thing." Weiss said.

"Come one, he's seen us naked before. He saw you more than naked before." Yang teased.

"When did he see you naked?" Weiss asked.

"Just general walking around the house or stumbling drunk into the bathroom." Yang said. "Or the one time I tried getting in a threesome with them."

"Jaune, is that true?" Weiss asked.

"Leave me out of this please." Jaune said. "If you're that needy, feel free to shower together or have a quicky or whatever. Just keep it down."

"You usually don't mind when I'm loud in the next room." Yang said.

"A lot of that is because Ruby and I are just as loud. But no, it's a school night and this apartment is right next to…"

"Glynda, got it." Yang nodded.

"Do you talk to her at all?" Weiss asked.

"Oh God no!" Jaune huffed. "She never liked me."

"That's not true." Weiss tried to compliment him.

"It's absolutely true." Yang said.

"She checks up every now and again. Usually it's more out of professional courtesy with all of us being huntsmen and all." Jaune explained.

"Well anyway, if neither of you are wanting to have fun, I'll be taking that shower." Yang said as she stood up and stretched her body in a way that showed all her curves. "Last call to join me Weiss."

"I told you I'm not in the mood." Weiss said.

"Jaune?" Yang said.

"Just go." Jaune groaned.

"I see you fiddling around in your pockets, you know you want some."

"Not from you." Jaune rolled his eyes. Yang gave a shrug and walked into the bathroom. There's always a fine line between jokes and actual offers with Yang. "Okay, Weiss, real talk, how do you resist?"

"Why do you ask?" Weiss' tone was scathing.

"Because if that was Ruby, and she was begging like that, it wouldn't matter how limp-dicked I was, I'd go in there and make her scream in bliss."

"It helps that I'm not a horn dog like you three." Weiss shook her head. "I'm not someone who drops my panties and sits on my lover's face just because we're alone for a bit."

"I can see that." Jaune said. Before Jaune could string another thought together, there was a silent knock on the door. Jaune stood up and answered it. He was greeted by a brawny fist tapping his nose.

"Sup Jaune?" Tai said.

"Ow." Jaune pinched his nose. Luckily his reflexes were just quick enough to activate his aura in time to negate any damage. "What kind of greeting is that?"

"The kind of greeting a dad is supposed to give to the person responsible for impregnating his daughter."

"Well, I'm not apologizing." Jaune said as Tai shut the door.

"Hello Tai." Weiss waved. "Hey Weiss." Tai waved back.

"Ruby's asleep and Yang is in the shower." Weiss said.

"Alright." Tai nodded.

"Can I get you anything?" Jaune said.

"I'll help myself." Tai went into the fridge and pulled out an apple juice. "So, about Ruby?"

"We're actually getting our first ultrasound tomorrow." Jaune said.

"Good." Tai said. "You know, I was actually elated when Ruby first told me. I know my baby is...well...no baby girl. She's in her mid-twenties now. And it was bound to happen eventually. Better for it to be with you than some random punk-ass bitch she met at a club." Tai pointed towards the bathroom. "That one, I still worry about."

"I don't think you need to worry about that anymore." Weiss muttered as she fiddled with her dress.

"Come again?" Tai said.

"That's what Yang wants." Jaune smirked. Weiss face turned red.

"So, you two are back together." Tai said. "That's….awkward…"

"How so?" Weiss asked.

"Oh, no reason." Tai scratched the back of his head. "Anyway…" He quickly changed the subject. "Marriage."

"I know, I know." Jaune said. "Things have just been fast and loose." Jaune said. "I just…"

"Wait." Yang said as she burst out of the bathroom, clad in a towel.

"Yang?" Tai said.

"Hey Dad." She said. "Jaune, you said, you said it's been fast and loose...sounds like me on a friday night bow chica bow wow."

"God damn it Yang." Tai fumed.

"Shut the fuck…" Ruby slammed the bedroom door open. "Up. Oh, hey daddy." Ruby walked up and gave Tai a hug.

"How're you doing sweetheart?" Tai asked.

"I was doing just fine." Ruby said. "I'm fine now."

"I'll make you some coffee." Weiss said.

"Thanks...you're such a good sister." Ruby said as she gave Yang a dirty look. She then looked at Jaune. "Is that a box in your pocket?"

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you." Jaune said as Ruby took a seat in a chair.

"So, did I miss the stern dad talk?" Ruby asked.

"No...look…" Tai started. "When Raven got pregnant with Yang, we were young and stupid. Younger and stupider than you, if you can believe it. We didn't think we were ready for a kid. Turns out...half of us were right." He looked at Yang.

"That's a bit disingenuous considering all the other bullshit that goes on in her fucked up head." Yang said.

"When Summer and I had you, we actually planned it a lot more. We had a bit of practice and were ready to start a family."

"I know." Ruby nodded.

"I support you." Tai said. "You're a lot like your mother...with a level of influence from Qrow-God rest his soul-that I could do without." He then looked at Jaune. "And Jaune's the kind of guy who'd stick around long past the point of being a completely miserable and loathsome depressed human being."

"Gee, thanks." Jaune said, knowing that was a reference to Pyrrha.

"I think you two are going to do fine." Tai said. "But the best thing you can do for your child is give it a stable and loving household. This apartment will do for now, so long as you kick Yang to the curb."

"Hey." Yang said.

"My house always has a room for you sweetheart." Tai said.

"Unnecessary for now." Weiss said.

"If you do have another kid, you'll definitely have to upgrade." Tai said.

"How do we do it?" Ruby asked as she rubbed her stomach. "How can I possibly provide a stable home when the world needs saving."

"Short answer, that child IS your world. Long answer...you really aren't ready to hear this...the first thing I did was stop being an active duty huntsman."

"What?" Ruby fumed.

"I got a job that kept me at home for the most part and your mother provided for us. As guardian, you still have that same responsibility your mother had." Tai looked at Jaune.

"I'll do it." Jaune volunteered.

"But Jaune, this is what you always wanted. That's the dream we shared, to become heroes like the ones in fairy tales and legends."

"And I lived that." Jaune knelt down. "But if it means giving our child the love and stability they need, if it means being the primary parent of the household, if it means making us a happy family...I'll settle for being our child's hero." Jaune finally pulled the offending object from his pocket.

"Huh?" Ruby took a sharp breath.

"Ruby Rose, will you do me the tremendous honor of being my wife?" Jaune asked as he pulled out the ring.

"Jaune, you shouldn't have." Ruby said.

"He didn't for half of it." Weiss said as she crossed her arms.

Ruby looked around the room. She looked like she was in a daze. Tears welled up in her eyes as she put on the stupidest and ugly smile Jaune had ever seen on her face. She wrapped her arms around Jaune and started crying.

"Of course I'll marry you!" She sobbed. Jaune wrapped his arms around her and they stood up together. They then started to kiss and makeout. Jaune didn't care that Weiss, a mostly naked Yang, and Tai were standing right there. Jaune systematically kissed every tear away from her face as she desperately chased his lips.

"I didn't realize you came prepared." Tai said. "Take it from someone who has two daughters from two different mothers. Marriage is going to make all this a hell of a lot easier.

"I love you." Ruby said, ignoring her father.

"I love you too." Jaune smiled.

"Ahem." Ruby backed away and wiped the water from her face. She took a long hard look at the ring on her hand. "Ruby Arc." She whispered. "Not to sound pretentious, but I think Ruby Rose-Arc sounds better."

"Whatever you want." Jaune said. "I'm completely secure with my standing with you."

"Enough to wear a dress." Weiss joked.

"Ooh, I will pay you a million lien to wear a dress to the wedding." Yang said.

"You mean, you'll spend a million of My lien." Weiss corrected but Yang waved her off.

"Not happening." Jaune said.

"He'd do it if it weren't such an important thing." Ruby said. "He is comfortable enough however…" Ruby eased her hand onto Jaune's butt. "To let me play with his ass tonight."

"Ruby!" Jaune said disapprovingly.

"I'm standing right here!" Tai shouted. Just then there was a bang on the door. It opened up. Glynda stood in the doorway.

"Keep it down!" The older woman seethed. "People are trying to sleep." She looked up and saw the group gathered. "Taiyang Xiao Long, should have known."

"Sorry." He waved.

"She's right though, it's getting late." Ruby said.

"What's all the ruckus about anyway?" Glynda said.

"Jaune just proposed to me!" Ruby cheered. Glynda gave her a look over.

"Congratulations Ms. Rose. Now be quiet and go to bed." Glynda shut the door behind her.

"I guess I'm heading back home." Tai said. He gave Ruby one last hug. "I'll come by tomorrow."

Yang never bothered putting on clothes before she went into her room with Weiss. It was probably her way of trying to elicit sex from Weiss. Jaune quickly undressed until he was left with his boxers. As he and Ruby laid down, they started cuddling.

"Don't think I was kidding about your ass." Ruby said as she cupped his cheek.

"Fine." Jaune said as he turned over. "Whatever made her happy. Ah, who was he kidding? He liked it and she knew it.

AN: A much more serious chapter. But serious is completely relative in a chapter where Yang basically begs Weiss for sex. This also covered most of the "serious" themes that come with stories like this so I hope you enjoyed.


	6. Chapter 6

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: In response to my two guest reviewers on last chapter. This story has...what is called...fast pacing. I'm blasting through what is effectively a year and a half of life in just 14 chapters. As for the other reviewer-who signed in as Lol...what the fuck are you on about? I seriously have no idea what you're insinuating or referencing.**

Chapter 6: Relations to Others

Ruby was just over halfway through her pregnancy. She had a due date in early december, which put her conception around mid-March, right after she got her annual physical. Now, the sweltering heat of the late summer was getting to her. Her baby bump was showing quite a bit. She was eighteen weeks pregnant and feeling every bit of the strain. But she didn't care, because she knew her baby girl was halfway home.

Ruby had stared at her second ultrasound for what felt like an eternity. She still couldn't believe it. She couldn't comprehend the miracle of life that was happening inside her womb at that very moment. She couldn't believe that in another four or so months she'd be a mother to a precious little girl.

Jaune was more excited whereas Ruby was wonderstruck. She had barely moved from the couch, the photo hadn't left her hand, while she just looked at it in awe. Jaune on the other hand was was looking on his scroll for toys, baby clothes nursery stuff, color schemes and baby names.

"Ruby are you listening?" Jaune asked.

"Huh, what?" Ruby mumbled.

"You're doing it again." Jaune scorned.

"Doing what again?"

"You keep zoning out." Jaune said. "I'm trying to talk to you but you're not answering."

"I'm...sorry." Ruby said. "What were you saying?"

"I was thinking about giving our baby girl a name symbolic of orange. I mean, my color is yellow and yours is red so orange would be perfect for our first baby."

"First?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, the one who's growing inside you right now." Jaune teased as he pointed to the ultrasound photo.

"No, I mean, what do you mean first?" Ruby said.

"Ruby, I know we have very little idea about what we're doing. My parents alone have been chewing me out non-stop since I broke the news to them. But I want to have a big family some day."

"Oh." Ruby looked down at her bloated stomach. She weighed more now than she ever had and she was well aware that she'd keep gaining weight. "I just...I feel like the funnest part of my life is over."

"What do you mean by that?" Jaune asked.

"I miss going out on hunts without worrying about people back home. I miss going out drinking every night. I miss throwing you on the bed and fucking your brains out on a daily basis. I miss not giving a fuck about what I say or what I do, so long as I'm there when the world needs me."

"Well, when that little girl sees the world for the first time, she's going to be our world and we're going to be hers."

A year earlier Ruby would have rolled her eyes as Jaune's corniness. But halfway through her pregnancy, all she could do is close her eyes and try to imagine. But for some reason, all she could imagine was a girl dragging her down the same way that she and Yang dragged their mother down. Summer Rose had the patience of a saint and more love in her heart than she knew what to do with. Ruby couldn't believe for a second that she had those same qualities.

"I just wasn't ready for change." Ruby admitted.

"No one ever is unless they set out to change." Jaune said as he grabbed her hand. "We might not have planned her, but this baby is our daughter, our responsibility. The top priority is to treat her as such. I don't ever want her to feel like a mistake. I don't want her to ever feel like she was unwanted. But I can't do it alone. We're getting married soon. Marriage is a statement of purpose and intent. The Roses and Arcs are joining forces and we're going to be the most awesomest family ever."

Ruby smiled at his kind words. She also snickered and laughed at his over-the-top tone at the end. Jaune always knew how to put her in a good mood. Granted it wasn't exactly rocket science. All it really required was cookies, chocolate covered strawberries and wine. She missed wine. Maybe that was the worst part about pregnancy.

"You're such a good boyfriend." Ruby said. "You're going to be the best husband and father ever."

"Well, don't talk me up too much. Remember what happened last time."

"Hey, Weiss loved it. Hell, I think we broke her to the point that she basically wanted Yang back so that she didn't have to go through another drought."

"Did she say that?" Jaune got a little red in the face.

"Want to know why you're the best?" Ruby asked.

"Because I'm a good listener." Jaune guessed. Ruby shook her head. "Because you can be yourself around me in a way you can't around anyone else." At least Jaune remembered why they started dating. "Because I'm good at sex."

"Best I've had but nope." Ruby said.

"What then?" Jaune asked.

"Because you're mine and I can't imagine being happier with anyone else. There may be millions of good guys out there, some of them good like you, but none of them are my best friend. Because you, no one else, always makes me feel better. Whether I'm pissed and need someone to vent to and you listen. Or when I'm sad and need someone to make me laugh. Or...yes...if I'm horny and just need someone to bend me over and make me cum."

"Were you just stating facts or was that a hint?" Jaune asked.

"Just stating facts." Ruby said. "Unless you want to go at it. If you're up for a round, I'll get in the mood."

"That won't be necessary." Jaune said. "Later tonight."

"Well of course." Ruby said. "Has there ever been a single night we've been together where we didn't fool around?"

"Not that I can think of." Jaune shrugged. "Honestly, sex always helped me sleep good at night."

"Without a doubt." Ruby agreed. "I just never had the chance to fuck at the frequency you do until...well...we started fucking each other."

"Yeah but that's...well you know." Jaune grabbed the remote. "What's on TV?" Ruby knew that he changed the subject to avoid saying anything positive about Pyrrha. Part of Ruby was annoyed. Ruby didn't hate Pyrrha. On the other hand, Ruby could give a fuck less about the champion and the two women in Jaune's life never saw eye to eye. Jaune had barely talked to Pyrrha since he started dating Ruby.

"Thanks." Ruby whispered. Even if she was annoyed at his caution, the fact he was so cautious was a positive.

"Hey, that Rhodes movie is on TV." Jaune said.

"I watched it twice already." Ruby said. "It's not all that good. It pretends to have a main plot but then drops it in favor of the whole Jack Risinger thing only to wrap that up before the end and jump back into the initial mystery for the climax."

"Well, it's pretty low quality considering who made it." Jaune said.

"Jaune, can we talk about the wedding for a bit." Ruby said.

"We've got time before we have to worry about it." Jaune said. "We're not doing it until after the baby is born."

"I know, I'm just in the mood to talk about it." Ruby said. "You said something a minute ago about orange color schemes. I think we should do the wedding in similar fashion."

"I'm not sure how viable that is." Jaune said.

"Yeah, I'll run it by the professionals at a later...juncture. Yeah, at a juncture." Ruby said. Jaune giggled.

"It's funny because that is an appropriate use of that term."

"I just, remember Weiss using it a lot back at Beacon."

"Those were the days." Jaune sighed.

"No they weren't." Ruby said. "At least not for me. I felt miserable about school. Every time I got a bad grade I felt sick, like I wasn't ever going to be a good huntress."

"Well, you showed them." Jaune said.

"Best days of my life were...and no offense to you kiddo." She told her stomach. "Was the year leading up to my pregnancy."

"And we've come full circle." Jaune said.

"Hey, you think we might wait three or however many years so that our baby girl can be the flower girl."

"That'd be cute, but I think my niece Andromeda already called dibs." Jaune informed.

"Eh." Ruby said. "What does your family think of all this?"

"Depends on who you ask." Jaune said. "My mom and three of my sisters are perfectly fine with it. They're fond enough of you. They want me to be happy. They know we're good together. My dad and the rest...kinda think you're an alcoholic whore who ruined my chance at stability. They have it in their head that Pyrrha brought me success and with you I'm constantly always going to have to stay home and be the homemaker."

"And let me guess, Blanc said it as if it was the worst thing in the world."

"Son." Jaune said as he mocked his father. "A woman's place is at home. Even for a huntsmen family, the woman is the primary caregiver and the man should be the breadwinner. A woman should tend to her husband's needs. Not spend their nights out partying and drinking."

"Your dad needs to piss off. Gender roles don't even matter. There's jobs adults have to do and people willing to do them. I know men and women are different and statistically have different strengths and weaknesses but who stays at home and who makes money-isn't fucking one of them."

"You don't have to tell me." Jaune said. "My sister Indigo went off on him when he said that."

"And Indigo is the other extreme. She's annoying too. Thinks she's the smartest person in the room and thinks she's the only one who knows all the answers."

"Yeah, they can all be difficult. But Indigo has our backs at least."

"Who's the other two?" Ruby asked.

"Ali and Amery." Jaune said. "Well, Rouge is fine with us too, she just liked Pyrrha more. And I don't think Amery likes either of you so...there's that."

"Do they all have to be at our wedding?" Ruby groaned.

"They have to at least be invited. Hell, I think we should try at least getting an invitation out to Raven."

"Fat fucking chance."

"It's the thought that counts." Jaune said.

"Yeah...just no Whitley and no...no Pyrrha." Ruby said.

"I understand Whitley but why no Pyrrha?"

"It's our wedding day. I don't want her 'not being over it' stinking up the place. Plus, I don't want to feel guilty rubbing it in her face." Ruby sighed. "We've only been dating for a bit over a year. Yeah, I know we've been best friends since way before that, even before you met Pyrrha. But you two were together for five years and for whatever reason, never took the plunge."

"We've been over the whys." Jaune said.

"I know, I know. Hell, your dad might be onto something. Maybe it was fate but maybe my presence in your life is what kept you from committing the rest of your life to Pyrrha. I understand how you felt. But Pyrrha doesn't. At least she didn't when I last talked to her."

"Last I heard she was on the dating scene." Jaune said. "Running into a lot of the same problems she did throughout school. Celebrity status fucking up her chances."

"Kinda makes me feel bad." Ruby said. "She does deserve some happiness. Just, she deserves a guy who is perfectly fine with her being overprotective." Ruby scoffed. "It's so fucking hypocritical that your dad has such patriarchal views but I'M the one who actually gave you encouragement and pushed you into the badass you are today."

"Yeah, don't I know it." Jaune said.

"Your dad pisses me off." Ruby said as she stood up. "I need something to take my mind off it." She grabbed Jaune's hand.

 **AN: In my outline this was going to be a house-hunting chapter with Yang. But then I decided to do Freezerburn so this became a Jaune and Ruby talk about people-chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: There's something that was desperately missing from Just Act Casually and the first half of this story. This chapter exists only to rectify that. Oh, and I guess there's some life lesson bs in there too.**

Chapter 7: Sh-sha-shake Renora

Jaune had gotten the call a week earlier. Ren and Nora were coming to Vale for some vacation time. They were also bringing their infantile daughter along with them and Jaune had volunteered to watch the baby anytime Ren and Nora wanted to have fun.

Jaune was mopping the floor and generally being a good housekeeper preparing for his guests. Ruby on the other hand was eating yogurt on the couch while she watched a violent film. She was in a childish mood today. Jaune had heard stories about pregnant women having terrible mood swings. Ruby has had a few but she generally went between cheerful and sad. Which was nice because either of those emotions could be maintained or eased-respectably- with sex, which he was always up for.

Those first few weeks had been killer. Jaune had thought he wouldn't survive Ruby's depravity. But he did and in the following months things had slowed. Where once upon a time they were doing it five or more times a day they were now doing it barely once a day.

"Jaune, are you listening?" Ruby asked.

"Huh, what?" Jaune had zoned out again.

"I said, I don't know why you bother. Nora's a bigger slob than either of us."

"I want them to be happy and comfortable." Jaune said. "I'm not going for Weiss levels of spotless, just making sure it doesn't stink in here."

"It smells fine." Ruby said.

"It might to you since you've been here all the time for the last five months."

"Don't remind me." Ruby groaned. "I fucking hate feeling like a whale."

"My point is that, for real, this house smells like seafood and crusted sex." Jaune said. "I want to set a good example for little Nephrite when we finally meet her. So, try to keep the cursing down to a minimum."

"Just another reason to hate kids. Can't curse in front of them."

"Well, you can it's just not setting a good example. I heard that the more you curse in front of your kids the more likely they will be to smart off to you."

"I believe it." Ruby said. "My Uncle cursed. My mom and dad not so much. Hell, I didn't even start cursing until I got older and realized how much fun it is to say fuck, shit, bitch and Goddamn cunt."

"And ass." Jaune added.

Meh, ass and damn are two words my parents didn't really mind when Yang started saying them." Ruby said.

At that moment there was a knock on the door. Jaune rushed to open it. He was greeted by his former teammates. Ren was holding the baby girl in his arms. Jaune was expecting exuberant smiles and maybe Nora tackling him after so long of not hanging out. But the look on the ginger's face was warm but distant. She had a smile on her face but bags under her eyes.

"What's up!" Ruby threw her hands in the air. Nora meandered to the couch and plopped down. "Everything okay?"

"We're all just exhausted from the journey." Ren said as he shut the door.

"I hope it was a safe trip." Jaune said.

"Journey between the kingdoms is perilous but we had a relatively safe flight." Ren explained.

"I just want to sleep!" Nora whined.

"We have a guest room that's currently unoccupied." Ruby said as she rubbed the top of Nora's hair.

"Thanks." Nora groaned. "What's going on with Yang?"

"She's...around...Weiss' face at the moment if I had to guess."

"Weiss is here?" Nora asked.

"She's overseeing a business venture." Jaune explained. "She's been here the last couple months. Her and Yang hooked up and Yang's been staying with her."

"Neat." Nora huffed. "Anyway, I'm taking a nap." Nora walked into the room.

"Sleep tight." Jaune said.

"I've seen her travel a lot." Jaune said. "There's something else wrong with her."

"What makes you say that?" Ren said.

"Come on Ren, you've known her longer than anyone. A situation like this she'd make me make her coffee, chug it down and would be ready to party."

"Nora and I get sleep whenever we can now." Ren said with a laugh. "You'll understand soon enough." Ren presented his daughter.

"Is this Nephrite?" Jaune asked. Ren answered with a nod. Jaune took the baby out of Ren's hands. "Hey there baby girl." Jaune cooed. "I'm your uncle Jaune. I was the best man at your old man's wedding. You've got great parents." Nephrite was silent and staring at him with a snot bubble in her nose. Jaune popped it. "You look just like your daddy. You're mommy is going to have to chase people off with her hammer when you get older. But if you ever need to get away from them, we'll be here for you. We even have a playmate in the oven for you."

"Awe." Ruby sighed.

"That's Ruby, your aunt." Jaune walked over and passed the girl to Ruby. "She's the greatest hero alive and the best girl I've ever known. I'm sure you're up there too." Jaune looked at Ruby, who had a hand over her mouth and water in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing?" She whimpered. "This is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. It's so Gaddamn precious to hear you talk like that."

"Ruby, language."

"It's not like she even has a concept of language." Ruby said. She sighed as she played with the baby's hands. "She's so curious and quiet."

"Only when she's wide awake." Ren said. "I think she has nightmares though. She never wants to sleep and she gets crabby. When she finally does fall asleep it's never for long before she starts freaking out."

"Are all kids like that?" Ruby asked.

"Being a parent really doesn't let you have a lot of sleep." Ren said.

"Well, I can go on very little sleep anyway." Ruby said.

"You say that now." Ren warned. "Just you wait." Ren took Nephrite out of her hands. "I'm going to put her asleep and join Nora for a nap."

"Alright Ren." Ruby said.

"I'll run down and get your stuff." Jaune volunteered. Ren nodded in approval before going into the guest room.

Jaune spent the next several minutes loading suitcases into the living room. Like all huntsmen, Ren and Nora liked to travel light. Ruby waited patiently for him to return while he got the stuff into the room.

"I'm scared." Ruby said when he was finished.

"Scared of what?" Jaune asked. Ruby held her head in her hands.

"Not being able to sleep. Not having energy for sex. Dealing with a shrieking baby every night. I don't want that life." She groaned. "Can't the baby just, pop out as a well-behaved five-year-old or something? Surely someone has a semblance that can do that."

"No Ruby, it doesn't work that way." Jaune said.

"I just...if that could happen to Nora, what the everlasting fuck is going to happen to me?"

"You're going to be fine." He kissed her sweet lips. They still tasted like her yogurt. "We knew this was going to be a big change and it's time you realized and accepted just how big a of a change that entails." Talking to her like this felt like being a parent.

"I know." Ruby said. "Doesn't make it any less daunting. Drop me out of the sky and have me dive bomb a fucking dragon and I'll be golden. But having something so small and so precious need me at every waking hour. I can't do it."

"You won't be alone." Jaune said. "I know we'll be just fine." Jaune said. He started peppering her with kisses and rubbing her stomach lightly. She quivered beneath him.

"I kinda want to have sex." Ruby said. "But I don't want to wake them." Ruby said.

"We'll be quiet." Jaune said as he maneuvered his head down.

"Usually you're the one talking me down." Ruby giggled. "But you seem eager so let's do it."

Four hours later, Jaune heard Nora walking around the kitchen. He put his clothes back on and joined her. She was making a large pot of coffee. She seemed much more well rested than when she had first arrived.

"Sleep well?" Jaune asked.

"Ah, you wouldn't fucking believe." Nora groaned. "Your bed in their is so soft. It felt like a marshmallow."

"It was originally intended for Yang and you know how she is." Jaune said.

"Yeah, Ren likes the bed a bit more rigid. I never really gave a fuck until we got married. I like the rigid best just fine but a soft bed is where it's at."

"Well, come by anytime." Jaune said.

"So, how's life?" She spoke quickly. "Is Ruby dealing with the pregnancy fine? Is she one of those super-horny pregnant people? I kinda was for a while but I slowed down drastically after my first trimester. Now sex is just one of those things Ren and I do when we have a chance and nothing else to do. Oh, pro tip, shower sex, not as viable as you may think post-pregnancy. It might seem efficient but then you have to stop when the baby starts whining, you have to decide who gets out and it kills the mood. When she's older and able to watch herself for a while, definitely bringing shower sex back."

"Thanks. Life's good. Ruby is physically coping but has a lot of doubts and worries. She is extremely horny like you wouldn't believe. In fact, it got so bad that she roped Weiss in to give me a break. Yeah, me, needing help to keep up in that department."

"Wow." Nora said. "Don't know if that makes you lucky or unlucky."

"Depends on the day." Jaune said.

"Well, that explains why you smell like that." Nora said, earning a blush from Jaune.

"Good to see you too Nora." He groaned.

"Congrats on the proposal by the way." Nora said. "I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun. If you need someone to watch your kid while you take a honeymoon, Ren and I will volunteer."

"Tai already said he'd watch her."

"So it is going to be a her." Nora confirmed.

"Yeah, I don't want to bother you guys with something like that when you have your hands full. Tai on the other hand, he has nothing to fucking do. He basically begged us to let him have the kid as the designated babysitter."

"Lucky you." Nora punched his arm. "Ren and I don't really have that luxury. We did find one girl, her name is Natalie. She's been an excellent babysitter."

"That's at least good to hear." Jaune said. "I just don't want to leave my daughter around Yang. Even if Yang is with Weiss I'm just worried."

"You're such a good dad. Just over halfway through the pregnancy and you're already thinking that far ahead." Nora complimented. "Anyway, have you talked to Pyrrha at all?"

"Not in a long time." Jaune answered.

"She's moving." Nora said. "Back home to Mistral. One of the things Ren and I are doing is helping her pack her stuff. She's already got a place in Mistral. It's pretty close to us."

"That's wonderful."

"You're not the least bit sad?" Nora asked.

"No. Look, Pyrrha is great and all but...I don't love her. I love Ruby. What Pyrrha does isn't my business. She has nobody here. She never had anybody here. The only reason why she stayed is because I said I wanted to stay close to my family. After I left her she had no reason to stay here."

"What about her friends?" Nora said.

"She doesn't have a lot of close friends." Jaune said. "I always felt bad about that. Though, it was one of the things she always guilt tripped me with. There is no downside to her going to Mistral. She has family there. She has you there. Maybe she'll even start seeing someone over that way. Celebrity couples and all that."

"I'm still going to miss when we were all together." Nora said. "Of all the teams to get fucked over with drama...Team JNPR was the one."

"Team RWBY got fucked pretty hard too between Blake ditching everyone, Yang being a mess, Ruby being an alcoholic and Weiss being a workaholic."

"Has Ruby talked to Blake at all?" Nora asked.

"On occasion, usually through handwritten stuff. Blake and Sun are living in Menagerie."

"That's not too far from Mistral. We should swing by sometime. But I heard it's not friendly to tourists."

"I've heard the same thing." Jaune said. "But apparently Blake is part of their council or some shit like that and that's why she never leaves home anymore."

"As long as she's doing good work down there." Nora crossed her arms. "I'm going to have a girl talk with Ruby later. I'm going to tell her straight up that I've changed a lot. Having a baby changes you. She might think she's a specific kind of person but when that baby pops out of her crotch, and she holds it for the first time, and that umbilical cord is cut and those maternal instincts kick in all her doubts are going to get blasted away. Mark my words."

"I hope so." Jaune said.

"I grew up when Nephrite was born. Yeah, I already had adult responsibilities. But adult responsibilities are just a checklist of things to have figured out. You can still be a child. Being a parent is different. I know Ruby will realize that soon enough."

"Yeah. I hope you're right." Jaune said.

"And the plus side is, sex out of boredom stops. It might get routine eventually but...actually fuck that. It's important to be kinky with your spouse. If sex ever gets routine, spice it the fuck up. Sex is unbelievably important for stress relief and maintaining a healthy relationship. When mommy and daddy are happy the baby is happier too. Another pro tip."

"Thank you Nora." Jaune said solemnly.

"And let her peg you every once in awhile. She'll like that."

"Thank You! Nora!" That time was meant to get her to stop talking. Nora had changed a lot. But she was still his teammate and the closest thing he had to a lewd and prudish sister on par with Yang. That made her and Ren important to his life. They were family, not the one he was born with but much like Ruby, they were the family he chose. Team RNJR was his family.

 **AN: This is getting more serious than I thought. Good thing I can still drop dick jokes in the serious moments or I'd be totally lost. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and here's to seven more.**


	8. Chapter 8

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: Thanks for the review Talon, even though it's ironic that you bring up how real this feels and then bring up the new COD (WE WAZ NAZIS!). And Remicas, this story is very AU. The general difference is that the Battle of Beacon got completely botched and all the heroes defeated Salem and her forces without much of a hitch (aside from Qrow dying somewhere along the way). Everything else you said is what I'm generally going for.**

Chapter 8: Baby Shower

Ruby felt like she was going to explode. Seven months she's been pregnant and this was the point everything sucked. This is the level of pregnant you see a lot of people in the movies being. All of her effort was spent just keeping herself comfortable and safe. She had no idea how Jaune put up with her shit all this time but she couldn't imagine making it this far without him.

"Today is the baby shower." Ruby said.

"We're that far already?" Jaune said as he put his clothes on. "You know, I always thought your idea of a baby shower is when it's raining dead babies."

"Woah!" Ruby's jaw dropped. "Not fucking cool to make a dead baby joke at a time like this. Good one though."

"My other option was when I shower you with baby batter." Jaune said.

"That, would have been the better line." Ruby admitted. "But baby batter is probably the weirdest name for spunk."

"Hey, I'm sure calling it that is someone's kink." Jaune shrugged.

"Well, I don't know anyone like that. But I know one of Yang's kinks is that definition of a baby shower." Ruby teased her absent sister.

"You're not exactly one to judge." Jaune said.

"Yeah, never stopped me before." Ruby said. "So, what are you and Ren going to do tonight?"

"Ren is doing some huntsman stuff during the shower. Me, I'm planning on doing a short excursion with your dad."

"Oh, lucky you." Ruby kissed him on the cheek. "I hope you have fun."

"Did you ever get ahold of Blake?" Jaune asked.

"She's coming." Ruby said. "So is Penny, Weiss, Yang, Nora and...a few of your sisters...bleck." Ruby cringed.

"It won't be that bad." Jaune said. "Those girls are pretty much your sisters. I get along just fine with Tai and Yang. You should get along with at least some of my family."

"I'll try." Ruby huffed.

"I'm gonna be leaving here pretty soon." Jaune said. "Don't have too much fun while I'm gone." He gave her a goodbye kiss.

After taking a shower, Ruby walked into the kitchen and found Ren and Nora changing Nephrite's diaper. As with most things, Ren was unusually calm while Nora still seemed grossed out by the prospect of changing diapers everyday.

"All better." Ren said as he finished up.

"Finally." Nora huffed. "Good morning Ruby." She greeted.

"Morning." Ruby said.

"Ready for your baby shower?" Nora asked.

"Yeah, I'm still a bit confused on what is happening."

"Well if you came to mine you'd know." Nora scorned.

"I said I'm sorry." Ruby whined. "I was in the middle of an important mission. I couldn't just abandon my job for something like that."

"I know." Nora said. "And I bet you're champing at the bit to get back out in the fight." Nora said. "I mean, I got all kinds of stir crazy when I was pregnant. I can only imagine what it's like for you."

"Well, I've grown fond of off days the last year or so. I can't wait to take another mission again. But I'm more excited to get stinking drunk again."

"You say that." Nora's tone changed to that of a wise mentor. "I haven't drank nearly as much these last few months as I did before I was preggers. Nine months of sobriety made me reevaluate my taste for alcohol."

"I'll admit I haven't craved it like I did those first few months." Ruby said. "And just in the year before my pregnancy I was changing a bit. I started drinking heavily when my uncle died and I went through all that bullshit. When I started living with Jaune it became more of a hobby. It's more on par with tinkering with my weapon or going on jogs through the woods."

"Anyway Nora." Ren passed Nephrite to her. "I'll be leaving." He gave her a goodbye kiss.

"Have fun sweetie." She said as she smacked his butt. Ren left and Nora got a mischievous look on her face. "So Ruby, is it true that Jaune likes ass-play?" Before Ruby could answer there was a knock on the door. Yang, Weiss and Blake came in.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Yang cheered.

"Blake!" Ruby cheered as she waddled up to Blake and gave her a hug.

"It's good to see you again." Blake said with tears in her eyes.

"You need to visit more often. It's been way too fucking long." Ruby laughed.

"We're trying to get a better CCT network on Menagerie but this stuff takes time and money." Blake explained.

"Always with excuses." Yang sighed.

"So, should we get started or are we waiting on people?" Yang asked.

"We still have to wait for Jaune's sisters." Ruby said. "But we literally have all night. I don't know about you, but I don't want to blow my load too early."

"Yeah, fucking hate it when guys do that." Yang said. "That's why I like girls, they always take longer to do everything." She grabbed Weiss' ass. "I mean everything." Weiss slapped her out of embarrassment.

"Brute." Weiss muttered.

"So, we should all just spend the day catching up." Blake said. "I know I have a lot to share."

They spent hours catching up with everything they've been up to. Ruby didn't have as much to share as her lot in life was pretty obvious. Yang and Weiss she had heard before. Nora shared some of her more outrageous hunting experiences in Mistral and Blake pissed and moaned about the bureaucracy of Menagerie politics. After several hours of this the conversation got derailed into sex talk.

"So, Blake...how's Sun?" Yang asked.

"He's doing alright. I thought I already told you." Blake took a nervous sip of tea.

"No I mean in bed." Yang said.

"Are we really having this conversation right now?" Blake asked.

"Why not? We're all women here."

"We have a baby here." Nora said.

"Yeah an infant." Yang added. "I'm just bored and sense I like talking about sex, why not?"

"Alright." Nora finished feeding Nephrite. "I'm just going to go over here." She took a seat in a chair. Ruby was on the couch with Weiss and Yang. Blake sat on the floor.

"So, how is he?" Yang asked.

"He's as good as ever." Blake said with red cheeks.

"He totally uses his tail." Yang whispered to Weiss. "Lucky Blake."

"Yeah, whatever." Blake fumed.

"I guess I haven't had a chance to brag on Jaune around you Blake." Ruby said.

"I'm really not that concerned." Blake said.

"From what Ruby says, he's got massive stamina and knows just how to treat a woman." Yang said. "This one can attest." She pointed to Weiss.

"Wait, what?" Blake's jaw dropped. Yang snickered. Weiss got embarrassed.

"It was one time and we did it for Ruby's benefit." Weiss said.

"No shame in a threesome." Blake shrugged.

"Yeah, I've hooked up with quite a few couples." Yang said. "But you all already knew about that." There was another knock on the door.

"Come in!" Ruby called out. "Nix the conversation." She ordered. Penny stepped inside.

"Salutations!" She gave a salute.

"Penny!" Ruby said.

"We were just talking about you." Yang said.

"You were?" Penny asked.

"We were?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, I was about to tell them the story of how I taught you the benefits of a robot body." Yang said.

"Umm...I'd rather you not." Penny said. "It's not exactly something I have desire for nor am I adequately equipped."

"Trust me, ladies love it." Yang said as she vibrated her arm. "Still with that engineerguy?"

"I am in a platonic relationship with him, yes." Penny smiled. "He's wonderful to me."

"And quite the cutie too." Yang said. "Not exactly my type but I know plenty of girls around Atlas that just want to treat him like a cuddle muffin."

"Well, they can't!" Penny snapped. "Sorry."

"I didn't know you had a jealous streak." Yang said.

"I just feel inadequate at all this human stuff." She looked at Ruby. "Rubrum says I'm perfect as is, but I still feel like I will never be good enough."

"Try sticking a finger in his butt. Works for Jaune." Ruby said.

"Oh, I feel like I should ask his permission first." Penny said. "It seems rude to do that."

"Nah, surprise him. What's the worst that can happen? He gets embarrassed?" Yang went on.

"Don't ever listen to Yang." Weiss warned.

"Noted." Penny walked over to Ruby. "Wow Ruby, you've gotten bigger."

"It tends to happen when you're bringing another life into the world." Ruby muttered.

"I wish I could do that." Penny sighed. "The closest I can do is build another android."

Then there was another knock at the door and Jaune's sisters came in. Only three of them decided to show up. His kid sister Amery led the trio. Aliquam was right behind her. Verdant, Jaune's younger sister by a year followed behind them both. Amery seemed more passive towards the affair. Ruby was fond of her but the youngest Arc was also protective of her family. Aliquam was a lot like Yang but constantly talking about music instead of sex. Verdant was one of the sisters who preferred Pyrrha. Ruby was able to see through her fake cheerfulness.

"Now that everyone's here, let's get this over with." Ruby yawned.

"Me first!" Yang declared. She passed Ruby a small box. Ruby was afraid of what Yang could have gotten. She really was not in the mood to be embarrassed in front of Jaune's sisters. Ruby was relieved to find that it was actually a music box.

"Awe." Ruby said.

"Wind it up." Yang said. Ruby did and let the music play. She recognized the melody right away as a song her mother used to sing all the time.

"Where did you find this?" Ruby said with a tear in her eye.

"Atlas a few years ago." Yang said. "I neglected to buy it for a long time. I couldn't deal with it but I thought you'd love it."

"I guess while we're on the discussion of Atlas…"Weiss said. "I bought a crib for the baby. It has a built in monitor system. Pretty state of the art stuff as far as cribs go."

"Thank you." Ruby gave the couple a hug. "You're the best sisters ever." She looked at Jaune's. "No offense."

"None taken." Verdant said in a cold tone.

"This is actually on behalf of all the Arcs." Aliquam said. Amery opened up a large bag.

"We didn't know who the baby would take after so we all picked out a couple outfits." Amery said.

"Awe!" Ruby said as she saw a little dragon onesie. "She's going to look so cute in this!" She squeeled. "Thank you!"

"It was no problem." Verdant said.

"My gift is for you as much as the baby." Blake said as she passed the pregnant woman a book."

"A fairy tale collection?" Ruby asked.

"I know it's all I ever give you but this is one that my mom would read to me when I was a baby."

"Thank you." Ruby said again.

"All these thoughtful gifts." Penny said.

"I got something practical." Penny said as

she passed her present to Ruby. It was a toiletry bag with wipes and diapers. "I wasn't sure what all would be necessary so I looked up what children need.

"Thanks, every little bit helps." Ruby said.

"I guess I'm last." Nora said. "This is a neat bottle I got for my baby. So, I bought you one too. It's cap is pretty nifty." She said as she passed the present.

"Thank you all very much." Ruby said.

"All that planning and coordinating for just a few minutes of gift giving." Blake huffed.

"Well you're welcome to stay or leave as you please." Ruby said.

"Yeah, you can stay the night with me and Weiss." Yang said.

"No." Blake said. "I know what you try doing when you have people."

"You never complained before." Yang said.

"Well that was with…" Blake started.

"Just shut up." Ruby said. "Blake is fine wherever she wants to go."

"Thank you." Blake said but Yang raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway, I'm heading out." Verdant said as she adjusted her glasses. "It's cramped and small and smells musty." She complained.

"Alright, whatever." Ali said. "We'll catch you around."

"I'm gonna stay here if that's alright." Amery said.

"Suit yourself." Verdant said as she left the apartment.

"Well, fuck you too." Ruby whispered. "Too bad the door didn't hit her on the way out."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"She was giving me dirty looks the entire time." Ruby said.

"She does not like the fact that Jaune knocked you up so quickly and before marriage." Amery said. "I guess we're just very traditional."

"You seem pretty cool though." Yang said.

"I'm the youngest. I got away with a lot of stuff. In many ways some of my older siblings hate me as much as anyone." She shrugged. "I'm just going to stay here until Jaune gets back and then have him take me home."

"That's fine Amery." Ruby said. "I'm sure Jaune would love that we're getting along."

"We can all get along." Amery said. "None of my sisters hate you. They just think Jaune was better off with someone rich and famous...not to mention protective like Pyrrha."

"Well Jaune doesn't need someone like that." Ruby said. "You'll understand if you don't already. Jaune needs someone he can be comfortable with. Someone he doesn't ever have to worry about stuff like that with."

"I understand." Amery said. "Jaune's way happier with you. That much I'm sure of. And that's all that matters. So long as you don't let him get too lazy or whatever which I don't think I need to worry about."

"Trust me, he never has a chance to be lazy. I'm always putting him to work and giving him exercise." Ruby smirked. Amery blushed. Then Ruby realized how it sounded. "Fuck, I didn't...who am I kidding? That's exactly what I meant."

"So long as it makes him happy." Amery smiled.

 **AN: Kind of a fluff chapter. I just wanted to involve Jaune's family a bit here and bring Blake and Penny into the story. I've also never been to a baby shower so I only had google to go off of. Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and after next chapter the release time is going to change to late at night because of school. That's why I held onto this until I got off work.**


	9. Chapter 9

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: Well it's time to wrap up the second act of this story. You were probably expecting this to come later but nope, it's here. Anyway, hope you enjoy, I know I have enjoyed writing this trashy garbage fire.**

Chapter 9: Whistle and Push

Jaune and Ruby had begun doing gentle aerobics for exercise late into her pregnancy. It had been quite the journey watching her stomach get to the point of exploding. The due date was upon them. Passed in fact. The baby could come at any moment.

"I'm getting impatient with you." Ruby said as she rubbed her stomach and stretched her legs. "I swear if this is indicative of how long it takes you to do anything I'm going to have to beat your ass."

"Don't be talking to my daughter that way." Jaune laughed. Ruby's nostrils flared.

"Why, of all the fucking things to be fucking late." Ruby groaned.

"Sometimes estimates are off." Jaune said. "It's literally been one day since the due date. Some babies take way longer to come out."

"I'm just glad I'm having them put me under." Ruby said. "Maybe for baby number two I'll go all natural or whatever but fuck that. I've lost enough of my life carrying this load around. I don't care if it's worth the pain if it's an option to get knocked out and wake up with our baby girl in my arms that'd be perfect."

"I don't think they knock you out." Jaune said. "They just relieve pain and stuff."

"Oh...then why the fuck would anyone not use it?"

"Because people don't trust drugs." Jaune shrugged. "I heard from someone that labor is a lot more healthy if you don't take sedatives."

"Well, I'll let modern medicine decide that." Ruby claimed.

Ruby grabbed a burrito she got from a restaurant and smothered it in hot sauce and started eating it. Jaune thought it funny how Ruby enjoyed being pregnant at first and now was doing anything to get it over with. Jaune was loving how she ate her food. The blissful look on her face was enough to turn Jaune on.

"Just be patient, our baby girl will pop out when she damn well pleases." Jaune said.

"I think this is a sign that she's taking after you. Always takes so fucking long to do anything."

"You never complained about that before." Jaune said as he leaned into her. "In fact, I thought you liked how long it takes me." He started suckling her neck and grabbing one of her breasts.

"Jaune, I'm not in the mood." Ruby said.

"Awe, but I'd like one last round with pregnant Ruby." Jaune said.

"When you say it like that, it sounds dirty and weird." Ruby giggled. "I'm certainly in a mood for romance but I don't have the energy to get in a position like that."

"Well, maybe you can still help me out." Jaune said as he kissed her lips.

"I don't mind." She slipped her hand past his waistline and grabbed his crotch. It hardened dramatically as she rubbed her palm through his pyjama pants.

"That feels good." Jaune said.

"It'll feel better like this." She stuck her hand in his pants and started jerking him off. She laughed as he face tightened. "Of all the stuff we've done, I don't think I've ever given you a hand job."

"I can believe it." Jaune said. "You'd rather give me a blow job or something that benefits you." She started moving her hand faster.

"Yeah, stuff like this usually doesn't do anything for me." She said as she suckled his neck. "But this is turning me on."

Her hand felt incredible and was moving absurdly fast. He moaned into her neck and moved down to suckle her breast. One the pregnancy did that Jaune loved, was make Ruby's breasts bigger. He didn't care about breast sizes all that much but the bigger ones were a bit more fun to play with.

"First thing I'm gonna do when we return with our baby girl…" Jaune said. "Is put her to sleep and then absolutely ravish you." He said.

"It'll be good for working off all this pregnancy weight." Ruby said with a laugh. "I'm getting really wet right now." She said.

"But I'm barely doing anything." Jaune's voice was muffled by boobs.

"No Jaune I'm really...fuck I think my water broke." Jaune jerked up and saw it happening. He jumped up and grabbed the keys and his scroll.

"It's alright, it's alright." Jaune tried convincing himself more than his wife.

"Ow." Ruby clutched herself. Jaune grabbed her as he started dialing numbers and helping her outside.

Just twenty minutes later Ruby was screaming in agony. Dr. Night was huddled over her along with her assistant. Ruby was trying to breathe, just like how she was taught. Jaune clutched her hand as she squeezed tight. The vice grip threatened to shatter his hand. In normal circumstances, Ruby was able to twirl around Crescent Rose between two fingers. Her full grip was strong enough to crack open the steel cranium of an Atlesian Knight. Jaune's hand wouldn't stand a chance if not for his aura.

"Come on Ruby." Jaune said. "You can do it."

"What the fuck is the point of sedatives if it hurts this much?" Ruby screamed. Her breaths were labored. "How much longer is this going to take?" She said in agony.

"Your dilation is up to three centimeters." Dr. Night informed. "It could still take eight or so hours."

"FUCK!" She screamed.

"The contractions are getting more regular." Dr. Night said calmly. "Once your cervix is fully dilated it should only take an hour for everything to be over."

"Take this." The nurse said. "It'll calm you down and ease any pain while you're going through dilations." Ruby took the drugs just fine and her grip on Jaune's hand eased.

"Mr. Arc, if you will step outside." Dr. Night. "We'll call you back in here once the baby is fully ready to come out."

"There's TV and snacks in the lounge." The nurse said. "Feel free to make use of anything around here. This is going to be a while."

"I understand." Jaune said.

Jaune spent the next few hours pacing around the hospital, watching TV and calling anyone he thought would want to have updates on Ruby's position. The only ones that weren't already busy doing something else was Weiss and Yang. Who headed over there to join him.

"So, she goes from beating you off to labor just like that." Yang said with a laugh. "Fuck, talk about blue balls." She laughed.

"I don't even know why I told you that detail." Jaune huffed.

"So, what's this newest family member's name going to be?" Weiss asked.

"Ruby and I decided we'd each have a name picked out." Jaune said. "Depending whose eyes she takes after. If they're closer to blue I'm naming her Coral, or maybe Prim-but Coral fits more with the orange theme we're wanting. If they're silver...Ruby has a name picked out but she hasn't told me yet."

"I love surprises." Yang said.

"It'd be funny if she picks the same name." Weiss said.

"Yeah." Yang said. "Jaune, when you go back in there, feel free to tag out with me."

"Are you talking about the hand squeezing or sex?" Jaune asked.

"Ruby going into labor!" Yang huffed.

"Alright, just needed to clarify with you."

"No, no, I understand, should have been clearer." Yang said.

"Or just not be a depraved human being for once in your life." Weiss muttered.

"Meh." Yang shrugged. "Having a Team RWBY orgy is still on my bucket list so…"

"That R is your sister." Weiss accused.

"I've done dirtier back when I was fucking the twins." Yang shrugged.

"Is there anyone you know that you haven't fucked?" Jaune asked.

"Just you." Yang winked.

"I feel so privileged." Jaune said sarcastically. "Wait, that means you've slept with…"

"Yep." Yang cut him off.

"And-"

"Of course."

"But she's-"

"Very lonely."

"You're the salt of the earth." Jaune said.

"Thank you."

"I meant scum."

"Thank you." Yang said. "Dirty, sexy, salty, scum."

"Why do you put up with her?" Jaune asked Weiss. Weiss slid over to him to whisper in his ear.

"She's a sweetheart. She's kind of a slut when she's single but when she has someone she actually loves she's absurdly protective. The kind of girl who loves to cuddle and comfort anytime there's any kind of negativity coming from her loved ones. That's exactly what I need in someone."

"And the sex is good." Yang said as she vibrated her arm.

"And the sex is amazing." Weiss blushed.

"That's what I've heard." Jaune said. "This is why everyone is obsessed with lesbians."

"Girls are hotter than guys." Yang said. "Nothing against men mind you. I absolutely love men and I love having sex with them and all that shit but there's something sweeter about women."

"As someone who tends to favor men over women, that's pretty much it." Weiss said.

"Yeah and when you have both you make the cutest whimpering noises." Yang looked at Jaune. "But you already knew that."

"Getting a lot of mileage out of mine, Ruby's and Weiss' threesome aren't we?"

"It could have been with me if you gave into our inebriated state that one time." Yang said.

"No." Jaune said flatly.

"Well, I'm going to check in with the doctors." Weiss said. "I do want to be there when the baby is born."

"So do I." Yang said.

"They said they'd call me up when it's getting close." Jaune said.

"How long will that take?"

"Couple hours probably." Jaune said. There was a minute of silence.

"And now...the dance of waiting." Yang said as she started to dance amusedly.

This carried on for several more hours. Jaune and the girls found ways to occupy their time, mostly by listening and talking about the music that played in the lobby. Time did eventually come for them to head back up into the hospital room.

Ruby was in pain again. She was huffing and puffing on empty air and sweating profusely. Jaune and Yang each grabbed a hand and helped her anyway they could. Ruby couldn't even form words as she pushed and pushed. Weiss ran a cool hand over her head. Jaune tried comforting her with gentle brushes. Yang started whistling a song, the same song from the music box.

"You're almost there Ms. Rose." Dr. Night said. "Here comes the head."

"Come on baby." Jaune said. "You're mommy and daddy are dying to see you." Ruby gave another push. Then she gave a relieved breath that mixed with the sound of a baby's cry.

"Congratulations." Dr. Night said. She examined the baby. Weiss cut the umbilical cord for her. The nurse then washed it up and wrapped it. "It's a healthy baby girl." Dr. Night passed the bundle of cloth to Ruby.

"High." Ruby said in a high pitched voice.

"Silver eyes." Yang noticed.

"So, what's her name?" Weiss asked.

"Citrine." Ruby said with tears in her eyes. "An orange gemstone, similar to a ruby. Citrine Rose, an orange rose means love from friendship. Just like her mommy and daddy."

"It's a beautiful name." Weiss said.

"Hey baby girl." Ruby said as the baby started to calm down. "I'm your mommy." The smile on Ruby's face was infectious. "You put mommy in a lot of pain to get you here so you better be thankful." She turned to show the others. "That's your aunt Yang, and your aunt Weiss. And the goofy looking boy over there is your daddy. But you aren't the only one who calls him daddy."

"Ruby!" Jaune would have spit out his drink had he been drinking.

"Just kidding." Ruby said. "You'll be the first to call him daddy, far as I know." She passed Citrine over to Jaune.

"She's so adorable." Jaune said. The baby started crying again.

"We're going to do all the tests we need." Dr. Night said. "Ms. Rose, I advise you getting some much needed and well-deserved rest. The rest of you are free to make use of spare hospital beds or couches."

"Thank you." Yang stretched. "But I'm heading out. One question though. Why Citrine Rose? Why not Citrine Arc or at least Citrine Rose-Arc?"

"I'll give her that choice later." Ruby said. "But Rose is an honorable family. The last of the guardian clans. I don't want the name to be the last Rose."

"I understand." Jaune said. "We'll treat all our kids likewise."

"Who said we're doing this again?" Ruby laughed.

"Oh, don't rip me off like that." Jaune laughed.

"I won't. Just give me...a few years."

"I'll be ready." Jaune kissed her forehead.

 **AN: Another disclaimer, I know absolutely nothing as to how accurate any of this could be. That's why I wrote this chapter from Jaune's perspective and played fast and loose with the details.**


	10. Chapter 10

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: This chapter might have been put on hold longer than I wanted. Just got out of an exhausting four hour long podcast. Anyway, here's a bunch of funny baby gags with a rambunctious newborn.**

Chapter 10: How Do I Adult?

Ruby had people rely on her in the past. Friends, family, teammates, citizens of the entire world but nothing compared to how much Citrine needed everyday. It had only been a week since they had returned from the hospital. Only a week and Ruby was already done. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in so long. She had been slamming down entire mugs of coffee like they were whiskey shots and she was competing with Yang. She had changed enough diapers to kill a horse. Yet, Citrine seemed to take pleasure in her parents' misery.

Jaune was no better. He had volunteered to do a lot of the cleaning and diaper changing and waking up at three in the morning because Citrine decided it was time to wake up. Ruby remembered having a schedule as a kid. Now, she wondered if all parents made a schedule as revenge for their kids demanding so much and always at the worst times.

She had gone a week without sex, which was the first time she went through a drought of any kind since dating Jaune. She had been informed that there needs to be some healing, which for a young strong huntress with a powerful aura like herself, would still take two weeks.

Even if not for that, Ruby couldn't think of an opportunity she and Jaune had. Their every waking moment was spent taking care of Citrine and their every sleeping moment was interrupted by a wailing Citrine demanding more attention.

"There, there." Ruby cooed as she nurtured the baby. "Quiet down." The baby kept screaming until Ruby shoved a bottle in her mouth. "Mommy's tired, so can you please give it a rest."

"Want me to take over?" Jaune asked as he started massaging her shoulders.

"If it's not food it's milk. If it's not milk, it's her music box. If it's not that, then she wants entertainment. If not that, then it's her diaper."

"I've developed a process." Jaune said. "When Citrine screams, I check her diaper first. Then I pick her up and rock her. What she does next determines what she wants. If she reaches for my head she wants something I can give her. If she curls up, that means she's just fussy. If she throws her hands out, that means she's either hungry or thirsty."

"You really paid that much attention." Ruby said.

"I'm actually old enough to know what my youngest sisters were like as a baby. They all have their tells."

Ruby looked at her lover longingly. He was amazing. She always believed that. Even when he wasn't amazing, she thought that he could be amazing. Her impression of him only increased when they started dating. Now, she couldn't possibly imagine life without him. She couldn't imagine dealing with Citrine for more than a day without his help. She couldn't imagine going back to endless partying and month long hunts by herself trying to chase some kind of high that always eluded her. Jaune was the one and only person that could make her feel so in love with the world. And now and forever, Citrine was that world.

"Your daddy is so amazing." Ruby whispered. "He's got you all figured out while I'm sitting here like a hot mess wondering how to be an adult." Citrine stopped drinking from her bottle. Ruby adjusted her to pat on her back and get her to burp. When Citrine did, Ruby felt a gross liquid crawling down her back that made her entire body cringe.

"Ha." Jaune laughed.

"Ew, ew, ew, gross." She huffed as she passed Citrine over to Jaune. Jaune laughed and Ruby cried.

"It's just some spit up." Jaune said. "It's happened to me a dozen times."

"It's still gross." Ruby said. "I don't know how you've ever wanted to have sex with me after I've thrown up around you."

"It helps that you're the love of my life."

"And that time I threw up all over you?"

"That was way before we ever dated." Jaune said.

"Yeah, and I thought it would kill any chance of us fucking."

"One, language. Two, you actually thought that back then?"

"I don't fucking know." Ruby shrugged. "Maybe, but I was drunk and kind of depressed and willing to spread my legs for just about anyone."

"Is that when you…" Jaune started to ask.

"I was so drunk that I didn't find out for like, another year." Ruby said.

"Gross, but kinda hot."

"I'd never do anything so lewd if I wasn't blackout drunk."

"I know." Jaune sighed. "On a separate note, really wish I could have been there for Team RWBY's little beach resort two years ago. You streaking around the beach and then jumping in the ocean...might be an image I will literally pay money to see."

"You're incorrigible." Ruby said. She kissed Citrine on the top of the head. "Your daddy is just all pent up cause mommy hasn't been able to…"

"Can you not divulge the details of our sex life with our newborn innocent little girl." Jaune cut her off.

"Fine. I'll leave it for the bedroom." Ruby said as she walked off to change her shirt.

She stood in the bathroom for several minutes. She had gained a lot of weight while pregnant. Granted, just over eight pounds of that was the baby. Ruby wants to get back into a workout regime. She had even gotten a treadmill and put it in the bedroom for convenience's sake. She just hasn't had the time or energy to do much about it.

"Ruby, you okay in there?" Jaune asked. She was just looking at the death of her irresponsibility. She was lamenting how much weight she still had. She was thinking about how frustrating it was that she wasn't ready for sex. She was pissed that even if she was they still wouldn't be able to because of how needy Citrine was. She hated not getting her alone time. She hated not being alone with Jaune. She hated these things every time she looked in the mirror.

"I'm alright Jaune." Ruby said. It was the truth. Because it was only in here when she thought about how much better she looked just a year ago that she had any complaints. She was alright because she knew that as soon as she saw Citrine's beaming face again all of her doubt would fall away to a flood of unconditional love. And on the more shallow level, she really loved how awesome her rack and how round her ass was. When she was ready for sex again, she'd have plenty of ass-ets for Jaune to play with.

She stepped out of the bathroom with a cup of coffee ready to greet her. She smiled as she took it and pecked Jaune on the cheek. The show of affection didn't register with Citrine-who was still too young to smile or laugh but Ruby could see it in those glossy silver eyes. It was the one thing Ruby was sure of. Those adorable little noises caused Ruby's heart to flutter in what she had dubbed a heart-gasm.

Citrine made a happy gurgling sound as she reached for Ruby. Ruby made a series of funny faces and mocking baby noises to the baby. She slowly backed away until they were all on the couch.

"What are you doing?" Ruby asked in a high pitched voice. Citrine's eyes widened at the sudden noise. "Who's my precious little girl?" Ruby said as she rubbed her silky smooth head. The faintest truffs of blonde hair were starting to sprout from her head.

Citrine gurgled and waved her hands around. She hadn't developed the motor control to actually grab anything with intent. But the baby was clearly a grabber. Put something in her hand and she'd try her damndest to grip it.

"I can't wait for her to get old enough to smart off to you." Jaune said.

"Don't curse me like that." Ruby said. "She looks more like those baby pictures of you than me anyway. It's you she's going to smart off to."

"No, she's going to love me and be my little daddy's girl."

"Exactly, you'll let her get away with that shit. She's going to know that I'm the boss and if she smarts off to me she's going to get an ass whooping."

"Already talking about disciplining the kid." Jaune shook his head.

"I'm not about to be some snot nosed brat's bitch."

"Even if that brat is your brat?"

"Especially if it's my brat." Ruby cupped Citrine's cheek and gave her a kiss. "I'm going to make sure she becomes a well behaved young lady."

"And I'll make sure she's happy." Jaune said.

"You're going to spoil her rotten."

"Just like I spoil you?"

"Pssh, you don't spoil me." Ruby said.

"I'd bet my ass I do." Jaune said.

"You spoil yourself as much as you spoil me with that." Ruby laughed.

"Yeah...I'm eagerly anticipating our next...session...by the way."

"You and me both." Ruby said. "I could always blow you."

"No, no, I'm waiting until we can do pretty much everything. Then we'll have someone take the baby for a while so we can make up for lost time."

"How romantic." Ruby rolled her eyes.

"All according to plan." Jaune said. "By the way, our wedding."

"We're shooting for just before Citrine's birthday." Ruby said. "That way we don't miss any big milestones when we take a week long honeymoon."

"Any plans for that?" Jaune asked.

"I'd like to go to Mistral again. See some shows, take a dip in the hot springs, all that jazz. Southern Anima also has a pretty tropical climate so we won't have to worry about it being too cold for anything."

"Good thinking." Jaune said. "We're not going to do the whole bachelor and bachelorette party...are we?"

"Fuck yeah we are." Ruby said. "Just not the cliche one last fling sort of thing. The girls and I are going to get shithammer drunk. You and the guys can do whatever."

"We'll probably have a guy's night." Jaune said. "I was wondering what to do with Citrine."

"Well, if you're just going to hang around, you might as well take care of her."

"Sounds fine by me." Jaune said.

"Are you sure?" Ruby asked. "If you want to go out and party I can get someone to babysit."

"Nah, Citrine's one of the guys. I'll still get drunk but I know for a fact that there's some people there who don't drink and are capable of taking care of kids."

"Wait, who do you know that doesn't drink?" Ruby asked.

"Well, the first name that came to mind was Oscar."

"Oscar drinks."

"Barely. But I was referring more to Rubrum. He doesn't drink at all and he's worked at nurseries before."

"Neat." Ruby said. "That's a relief for me."

"This is going to be a fun year." Jaune said. "Which reminds me." Jaune pulled up an app on his phone. "I'm keeping a diary of Citrine's milestones and firsts."

"Awe, that's so adorable." Ruby cooed. Jaune took a picture of the whole family.

"We look cute together." Jaune said.

"You two do." Ruby said. "Give me another week and then a day or two alone with you and I'll be looking super sexy again."

"You look sexy now." Jaune complimented.

"Fuck off with that sugary bullshit." Ruby said. "I look okay right now. But this pregnancy weight has got to go. Just a few more days until I can have sex again. Then a few days after that I should be in shape enough to go on missions and then we'll be bringing in all the big bucks and getting ready for the next chapter in our life."

"Never a dull moment eh?"

"Not when you're a gal like me." Ruby winked.

"Whatever makes you happy." Jaune sighed.

"I've been sitting on my ass for pretty much an entire year. The world needs me. I know, Citrine needs me too. But she needs you just as much. And she needs me bringing in that sweet lien so, it all works out just fine. I'm not going to be like Raven. Hell, I'm not going to be like any of my parental figures. Being a huntress is my dream job...but it's still a job. A job I have to do. And I'm way more inclined to save the world now...now that our precious baby girl is part of it."

 **AN:** **I looked up some developmental milestones as I wrote this chapter. I took some creative liberty since at just a week, a baby is useless and can't do anything-which is really lame for a story like this. So, Citrine is able to do a bit more with her hands then a real baby would but it's all for the sake of cutesy comedy. A lot of this dialogue would fit better in RWBYond. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I did have similar monologues in RWBYond. Oh well, the last few chapters have been relatively serious but next chapter is going to be one of the raunchiest and slap-happy chapters in the series.**


	11. Chapter 11

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: I'm so sorry for what I'm about to write. If you're a pussy who doesn't like sex scenes, skip the first two paragraphs or so.**

Chapter 11: Baby Sitting

Yang woke up feeling just a little bit horny. Weiss was waking up next to her even more first thing Yang did was put a metal finger to her lover's lips...then stick a finger from her other hand into her lover's lower lips. Weiss moaned in content at the action.

Yang was already naked. Weiss was wearing a nightshirt and panties but that didn't last long. Yang put on her strap-on and started tenderly loving on Weiss. She made cute whimpering noises as Yang grinded into her. Weiss' moans were muffled by her pillow as Yang laid on top of her. The blonde kept rocking her hips and wrapped her arms around the the heiress. She gently vibrated her arm as it reached Weiss' core.

Minutes later, Yang's scroll started ringing, making Weiss' yelp in surprise as she reached an orgasm. Yang sat up, without removing herself and answered her scroll. She ran her hands up and down Weiss' back as she spoke.

"Yellow?" Yang said.

"Hey, Yang." Ruby's voice called. "You're not busy are you?"

"Not really, why, what's up?" Yang asked.

"I was wondering if you and Weiss would take Citrine for the day."

"Sure thing. When and for how long?"

"ASAP and at least for a day or two."

"What's going on?" Yang's voice had an edge of concern.

"Nothing important for anyone except Jaune and I."

"Ah." Yang started to catch her drift. "How long has it been?"

"Just over two weeks since we've done a damn thing. Like, four months since we've been able to do anything real fun."

"Damn." Yang said as she pulled out and sat on the edge of the bed. "We'll help you out sis."

"Thank you!" Ruby said.

"We'll head over there in a few minutes." Yang said as Weiss cupped her hands over the blonde's boobs.

"I take it we're babysitting." Weiss said.

"We got a bit of time." Yang grabbed one of Weiss' hands and stuck it in her mouth. She slurped the fingers then forced the hand down to her pelvis. "We just don't have time for you to tease."

"I…" Weiss slipped her hand into Yang's core. "Never tease."

Sure enough, within half an hour, Yang was spent and opening the door into Ruby and Jaune's apartment. The sight she was greeted with wasn't much different than the one she had less than an hour earlier. Yang nearly facepalmed at the sight of her little sister lying naked on her back, on the floor, while an equally naked Jaune grinded into her.

"Really?" Yang said as she shut the door. Ruby gasped and held Jaune close. Her legs were wrapped around the man's waist and she was covering herself up with his body. "You couldn't keep it in your pants for thirty minutes?"

"We weren't sure how long you were going to take." Ruby huffed with a red face. "Citrine just went back to sleep in our bed so we decided to wait for you out here."

"And by wait, you mean completely undress and start banging in your living room?"

"Just, take Citrine and leave." Ruby said.

"Alright, alright." Yang said. "God you two are something else."

"You're one to talk. Assuming Weiss is the only reason it took more than five minutes for you to get here."

"Only difference is that I didn't invite someone over to pick up a damn kid." Yang said as she popped into the bedroom and scooped Citrine off the bed. Ruby had already given her a detailed list of Citrine's schedule for this inevitability.

"Have fun." Ruby said as Yang walked out with Citrine and all the stuff she'd need.

"Well, Citrine." Yang held the baby out in front of her as she walked out of the apartment complex. "You get to hang out with your Aunt Yang while your mommy and daddy get some much needed alone time." The baby chortled as it woke up. "You're too young to be fun."

"That was quick." Weiss said as she opened the limo door opened.

"Yeah, Ruby and Jaune just...couldn't wait." Yang said squeamishly. Weiss' attention was then taken by the waking infant.

"She's got Ruby's eyes." Weiss said.

"Yeah…" Yang sighed. "I don't think it's dawned on Ruby yet...but yeah...the whole silver-eyed warrior thing."

"Are we going to do anything about that?" Weiss asked.

"It's Ruby's kid, Ruby's inheritance, Ruby's choice. I just hope that when the time comes Ruby can make the right decision."

"What is the right decision?" Weiss pondered.

"I don't fucking know." Yang said. "Let's get something to eat." She changed the subject.

"Read my mind." Weiss said. "Driver, take us somewhere nice and quiet."

"Yes Ms. Schnee." The driver said.

A few minutes later they were at a fancy restaurant. Weiss had recommended it on numerous occasions but Yang had never managed to make her way there. The blonde brawler would much rather spend a single lien and a whole three minutes on a greasy burger- than to spend fifteen butt-fucking lien on a meal that takes an hour to prepare and eat.

Yang kept Citrine wrapped in her arms and fed the baby. Citrine was sucking feverishly on the bottle. Yang wondered if this was something genetic from Ruby's ability to slam her drinks down. The look on the baby's face gave Yang a fun idea.

"What can I get for you?" The waiter asked.

"I'll have the Mistral Mesa Salad." Weiss said.

"I'll have the orange-glazed chicken." Yang said.

"Anything to drink?" The waiter asked.

"I'll have coffee, cream and five sugars." Weiss said.

"I'll have a cola." Yang said. The waiter turned tail and headed out. Yang set Citrine on the table.

"What are you doing?" Weiss asked.

"Stylin' and profilin' this baby." Yang said as she slipped some aviator shades onto the baby and held her up for a picture. Yang spent the next half an hour making Citrine pose in numerous silly and stylish positions. It got to a point where Yang convinced herself that it was good for the baby, as it was giving the infant's limbs the exercise they needed.

"Yang Xiao Long?" A familiar voice said. Yang looked up to see Oscar walking their way. "And Ms. Schnee. A pleasure running into you here."

"Sup Oz?" Yang asked without taking her attention off the baby.

"Is...is that yours?" Oscar asked.

"Is what mine?" Yang looked around. "Oh, the baby? Oh hell no. This is Citrine Rose." Yang held the baby up and made her wave. "This is Ruby's baby girl."

"Oh right." Oscar said. "I was informed that that had happened."

"We're not jealous are we?" Yang teased.

"No, no?" Oscar sipped coffee from his mug. "I'm a man married to my work."

"I've noticed." Yang said.

"Well, it was lovely running into the both of you here but I have a busy schedule and I was just leaving." Oscar said before marching away.

"Don't be a stranger." Yang said with a smirk. Weiss gave her a dirty look. "What?"

"When? Where? Why? And How?" Weiss said pointedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. I know that shit-eating smirk is reserved for people you've slept with."

"Fine. Like, a week or two after I found out Ruby and Jaune were sleeping together. In Beacon Academy. Boredom. And it was actually kind of boring. Oscar's a sweet guy but he's not a passionate lover. I got bored after one fling with him. Nothing bad, just bland."

"Is that so?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Don't be jealous. You've slurped my snatch more than anyone so you know how I roll." Yang gave a quick pass of the hand over Weiss leg and cupped her core. "Right now, you're my girlfriend. There's no need to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous." Weiss said. "Just a little pissy that your sex life includes enough people to fill an island nation."

"And varied enough to make that nation self-sustaining." Yang bragged.

"You always brag as if it's a good thing." Weiss said.

"I know it makes me sound like a slut but it isn't my fault none of them stay."

"It's your fault for spreading your legs for anyone who buys you a drink." Weiss scolded. "People like that never last long and frankly, you're lucky I've put up with it. Even when we're not together-together you're still my friend and I care about you. That's at least half the reason why I've been sleeping with you."

"I'm a big girl. I don't need you or anyone looking after me."

"I beg to differ. You are absurdly lucky you've kept yourself relatively clean. These kinds of actions have consequences. I know Ruby has worried about you and so has Blake. So have I."

"Fine, fine." Yang huffed. "All that's in the past anyway." Yang said. "I'm going to try to make this work."

"I know. And I'll do my part." Weiss sighed.

After finishing their meals, they went to the park. Yang made Weiss pose alongside them. They all wore shades- despite it not being all that bright out. After the lovely day in the park, Yang decided to blow up Ruby's scrolls with all the pictures she had taken throughout the day. Only after that, did the group decide to head back to Weiss' room.

"It feels good to be back here." Yang said as she sprawled out across the bed. She laid Citrine on her chest. "Any responses from Ruby?"

"No." Weiss said. "So I guess we're taking care of the kid for tonight."

"Yeah, I'll go over there tomorrow morning and throw their kid back at them."

"YANG XIAO LONG!"

"I meant that sarcastically." Yang said. Then, the baby burped up on her. "Mostly sarcastically." She amended as she wiped it off. "You think she gets this from her mom's side."

"I don't think it's the same as Ruby's alcoholism." Weiss said.

"Or yours, or mine." Yang added.

"Yeah. The sweet little baby just hasn't completely developed yet." Weiss picked up Citrine and started rocking her while she sang a song. Yang stared in awe of the snow angel's melody and how the baby didn't even register the show of affection. "I want one." Weiss said after the song.

"Well, you can always adopt." Yang said. "Or get a sperm donor. You can do it medically or the fun way. But if you do it the fun way you have to count me in."

"Fun way?"

"Have a guy rail you until you get pregnant then cut him loose."

"Yang that's horrible!" Weiss shouted.

"I heard Neptune is in the market right now."

"Not. Fucking. Funny." Weiss said.

"You're no fun today." Yang huffed.

"That's not what you said when I was fisting you this morning." Weiss said.

"Weiss, not in front of the baby." Yang said.

"We have been very inconsistent in what we do and don't say in front of Citrine." Weiss said.

"Well, it's not like she's old enough to even pick up on it. And there's no fucking way Ruby stops cursing just because of the kid."

"It would be good to get in the habit of watching our mouths." Weiss said. "At least when it comes to stuff so vulgar."

"Like how next time Citrine is asleep I'm probably going to eat you out."

"Exactly." Weiss said with a blush. "Exactly the kind of behavior you need to refrain from."

"Don't starve me out like that."

"You're not going to die of thirst just because your lips aren't firmly fixated to someone's sex at every possible moment."

"I'm not going to die of thirst." Yang said. "I'm just going to die of boredom." Yang said.

"God, Yang...do something. Listen to music. Watch TV. Take a shower. Go swimming. Ride your motorcycle. There is so much more to do than me."

"What are you going to do?"

"Probably just, play piano or something." Weiss said.

"Can I make out with you while you do it?"

"Kinda defeats the purpose of finding a way to preoccupy yourself with something other than sex."

"Fine." Yang huffed. "I'm going to keep dressing my niece up in adorable outfits then."

"Fine by me." Weiss said as she walked over to the bed. "When I do have a kid...no matter how it comes about...I'd like you to be part of our life." Weiss kissed her cheek. "And tonight, I'll make sure to make you very happy." Yang shook her head at that. Weiss was trying to get her to take her mind off of sex...by bribing her with sex. Sure. Made sense to Weiss.

Yang was getting really attached to Citrine as they played dress up. Part of Yang was just killing time until Ruby was thoroughly satisfied. The other part of Yang wanted Ruby and Jaune to take their sweet fucking time...fucking and give Yang all the time in the world with Citrine. But it was just a pipe dream for now. As Yang and Weiss went about their day, Yang really liked the idea of her and Weiss raising a kid together.

 **AN: I'm ending it there. A lot happened in this chapter despite how short it is. I certainly had a lot of fun. I had enough fun to add a Freezerburn tag to the story. That ship doesn't get enough attention. Neither does Lancaster for my liking.**


	12. Chapter 12

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: So, this chapter is the lead in to the wedding. If you want something from the female perspective, I did a girl's night thing in RWBYond Happily Ever After chapter 9. Any bachelorette party I could think of would be basically identical to that chapter which is why this is focusing primarily on the guy's side. And guest reviewers: you're not alone in preferring this over RWBYond but there's no way I can keep this up like that. And to the other...mature...in a trashy adult fic.**

Chapter 12: Guy's Night

"What are you doing?!" Jaune surprised his six-month-old daughter. She gave a humored smile as she chewed on the head of her stuffed beowolf. Citrine was already starting to teethe and her stuffed Grimm dolls were her favorite chew toy. She sat up in her little dragon onesie. Her silver eyes fixated on Jaune while she tried showing him how cool she was.

Citrine slammed the Grimm toy up and down like a rabid dog without letting go of it. She was always so happy abusing her toys like this. Jaune wondered if it had something to do with her silver-eyed instincts. He had asked Ruby if she did the same as a kid and she laughed. Didn't answer his question though and that caused Jaune to imagine Ruby eating Grimm, which was strangely arousing.

Citrine accidentally threw the Grimm off the couch. She then got the most defeated look on her face and started crying. She slammed her head into the couch and threw a tantrum. Such a temperamental brat.

"It's okay Citrine." Jaune said as he grabbed the toy. "Rawr." He made animal noises as he attacked her with the toy, turning her wails into laughs. "You better be on your best behavior tonight little missy." Jaune said as he relented. Citrine responded with a wet fart and a laugh. "That's my girl."

"Jaune, can you come here a minute!" Ruby called from the bathroom.

"Just a sec!" Jaune said. "Women...so needy. But you already knew that." Jaune whispered. "Yeah, you get it because you're one of them." Citrine smiled happily. "I'm going to talk to mommy. You wait right here." Citrine's only response was another laugh and a violent jamming of the defenseless toy into her mouth.

"Jaune!" Ruby whined. Jaune shot across the apartment and into the bathroom where Ruby was wearing nothing but a towel.

"Yes, my love?" Jaune said as he wrapped his arms around his basically naked wife-to-be.

"Did you talk to Ren?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Alright, when are they fucking getting here?"

"They'll be here in less than an hour, no need to shout." He rubbed the inside of her thigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." Ruby huffed. "I'm just on my period and dealing with all this wedding bullshit and we're getting married next week and this is our bachelor night and I feel like a piece of shit for making you watch Citrine while I have fun…"

"Hey, I volunteered. You wanted to hire some random kid to babysit."

"Yeah, and I still wish you would listen to me."

"It's fine. Citrine and I are going to have all the fun." He said as he started suckling on her bare neck. "Meanwhile you'll be having a vacuous sort of fun getting drunk and dancing. This is a strategic victory in the battle for best parent." He stuck a knee between her legs to spread them. Her voice hitched.

"Citrine's safe on the couch right?" Ruby asked before proceeding.

"Beowolf in her mouth and cartoons on the TV."

"We have such a weird fucking kid." Ruby laughed as she reached back for Jaune's neck and pulled him into a kiss.

"Just a quicky while she's fine." Jaune started kissing her passionately. She dropped the towel and he dropped his pants. One hand went to one of her breasts. The other stayed on her thigh as he inserted himself. They stayed like this, grinding against each other at full speed in front of the mirror for nearly ten minutes.

Period sex wasn't as gross as some would think. Ruby was never a heavy bleeder so it was never substantially messier than regular sex. And much like the first few months of pregnancy, Ruby was absurdly horny this time of the month. Jaune was nothing if not helpful to the giant horny ball of lust and tension that composed most Ruby's being.

Jaune came first but kept going. Just as soon as Ruby was starting to quiver, he heard Citrine start crying again. Ruby pounded the sink in frustration as Jaune pulled out. Ruby bit her lip in anger.

"Mother fucker." She cursed under her breath.

"That, I am." Jaune said coyishly.

"Go." Ruby groaned. Jaune pulled his pants back up and left the room. "I'll keep myself going until she's calmed down.

He ran into the room and saw that Citrine had fallen off the couch. It wasn't much of a fall. Considering she was on her but, sitting on a pillow meant she wasn't hurt. She was crying and reaching up for the couch, where her beowolf doll still laid.

"Damn it Citrine." Jaune huffed. Citrine looked at him with a heartbroken look. He took pity on the poor creature...and Citrine and grabbed both of them up. As soon as the beowolf was firmly in hand, Citrine quieted down and started simpering. "You're lucky you're the one girl I love more than your mother." He set her in her crib and started playing the music box she received at the baby shower. "I'm going to go back to mommy. I'll be back in just a few minutes."

Jaune always kept his promises. It only took him another two minutes to send Ruby reeling into bliss. He then went back into Citrine's room while Ruby got dressed and ready. Nora and Ren arrived soon afterwards. Ren carried Nephrite into Citrine's room while Nora helped Ruby with her dress.

When the mother's left, Jaune and Ren were left with the kids, waiting for the others to arrive. Jaune got them both a drink and turned on something they'd both enjoy, reruns of previous Vytal Tournaments.

Nephrite waddled into the room with her pacifier in her mouth and her hand twirling her pink strand of hair. As soon as she reached Ren, she toppled over and looked up at him. Ren looked down at her. After a silent minute she started tugging on his leg.

"Why don't you want to play with Citrine?" Ren asked. Nephrite answered by putting her face into Ren's leg. Jaune sighed and went into the room to grab Citrine. The baby was laughing and smelled bad. So, Jaune changed her diaper. By the time he was done, he heard a few more people enter.

"Where's the party at?" He heard Tai say. Jaune's soon-to-be father-in-law was carrying a twelve-pack. The entirety of Team SSSN had also joined the gang.

"We were just going to watch some tournament stuff." Jaune said.

"I know, you invited me." Tai answered as he opened a can of beer. "How's my precious little grandbaby doing?" He asked as he tickled her. He took her into his arms and started tossing her up.

"Tai, can you please not do that?" Jaune asked.

"It's fine. Used to do it with Ruby and Yang all the time." Jaune refrained from saying that that explained a lot.

"Lighten up Jaune." Sun said as he slapped Jaune's back. "We're here to have fun doing guy stuff. Like watching teenagers beat the ever loving shit out of each other."

"Truly, there is nothing more manly." Neptune added.

"It kinda sucks that we're all crammed in here though." Sage said.

"Yeah, I would have much rather gone drinking with the girls."

"Pssh, it's not going to be as much fun as they think." Sun said. "Just found out today that Blake and Weiss are both pregnant."

"Wait, what?" A few people said at once.

"I heard about Weiss." Jaune said. "She went to the doctor a few weeks ago and got herself a sperm donor so she could have a kid now. But what happened to Blake?"

"Um...me." Sun presented himself. "Everyone was doing it."

"Don't speak for everyone." Neptune held a hand up.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Sun said. "But that's only because you don't have a girlfriend right now."

"No, you're right." Neptune said. "I don't need a girlfriend."

"Wait…" Jaune was confused.

"Gay!" Sun claimed.

"I'm not gay." Neptune said. "I'm no different than Weiss and Yang, both of which I've slept with plenty."

"I'm pretty sure we've all slept with Yang." Sage laughed. Tai spat out his drink.

"I haven't." Jaune said. "Apparently I'm the only one not related to her that she hasn't slept with." Everyone looked at Ren.

"It was Nora's idea." He said defensively.

"Dude, literally none of us can judge." Sun said.

"I can!" Tai said angrily.

"Also, not for lack of trying on her part." Jaune noted.

"Figured." Sun said.

"By the way Tai, I thought you knew." Jaune said.

"I knew she's slept around but I didn't know they'd all be gathered here." Tai said.

"Believe me, this isn't all of them." Sun said.

"That doesn't make it better!" Tai yelled. Citrine started laughing in his arms. "What, you like that."

"That is not a good sign." Jaune sighed. "Probably because Ruby and I aren't scary when we're angry."

"You two do look goofy when you get angry." Sun said.

"Well can we at least not talk about my daughters' sex lives?" Tai asked.

"Sure thing." Sun said.

"So...you and Blake having a kid?" Jaune asked.

"Yep. She's only a few weeks along." Sun said.

"Has she um...had any cravings?" Jaune asked.

"Nothing too strange. Why do you ask?" Sun said.

"Well...I've heard stories. I've seen things with Ruby. I've been told a lot about Blake….I worry about you man."

"I don't really know what you're talking about...but I'd rather it be a surprise." Sun said.

"Well...it'll be fun so long as you're eager." Jaune said half sarcastically, half seriously.

"Well, I say we start playing a super cool party game." Sun said.

"Oh boy." Jaune swallowed. "What'll it be?" The possibilities washed by. Shots? Jaune was fine getting drunk but wanted to wait for Rubrum. Darts? But there was no dart board. Arm wrestling? That could be interesting but Sage would probably cheat.

"Kung-Fu Ultimate Ninja Death Battle!" Sun cheered.

"I don't know what I was expecting." Jaune said with a facepalm. "I almost forgot that you're the cool one who acts like a dork."

"Pop it in." Sun commanded.

"Alright." Ren said. Neptune, Sun and Jaune joined him on the couch. Nephrite climbed up into Ren's lap as the game was set up.

"Two on two. JNPR vs. SSSN." Sun said. "Then whenever Rubrum gets here we can do Patch vs. Mistral."

Jaune picked his character and started playing. He was pretty good at this game. Ruby loved it and showed him all the moves. Sun was a dirty cheater though and used his tail to get an edge. Luckily Neptune was quite possibly the worst player Jaune had ever seen. Ren was pretty good too so in this scenario, Jaune and Ren won.

"Yes!" Jaune cheered. As he did, Rubrum entered the room.

"Sorry I'm late." Rubrum said as he took his goggles off. "Penny and I ran into...problems on the way to Vale."

"No problem." Jaune said. "Ren and I just beat these two dorks in this game."

"Sweet." Rubrum said.

"How did you beat us?" Sun asked.

"The bedroom isn't the only place where Ruby's taught me some moves." Jaune blurted out, earning a glare from Tai and a blush from Rubrum. "God...damn it I said that outloud."

"Yeah...you did."

Things were awkward with Tai for the rest of the night. Jaune didn't care because he got quite the buzz from all the alcohol he consumed. By the end of the night, Ren was passed out in the guest bed with Nephrite. Citrine was sleeping soundly in her crib. Tai was sprawled out on the couch. Team SSSN were all crowded in Ruby and Jaune's bed. Jaune stole Neptune's sleeping bag and slept at the foot of Citrine's crib. Rubrum had brought his own sleeping arrangements, a hammock he strung up from the ceiling.

The girls were all staying the night at Weiss' Vale Suite. The odd thought of that RWBY orgy Yang always talked about sprung to Jaune's mind. That could be interesting fap material if Jaune could picture it. That was difficult though because Blake was one girl Jaune had seldom seen in something immodest, let alone naked. Oh well.

Jaune would have to thank the guys in the morning. They were the closest thing he had to brothers. He didn't fail to notice that no one on his side of the family showed up. He'd have to deal with them at the wedding but knowing them they'd be no trouble-for no other reason than to be polite.

And so Jaune found rest in the sweet imaginations of his mind. It was certainly a start. Just one more week until he'd be officially married. That was a pleasant thought. Pleasant enough to help him sleep.

 **AN: That's a wrap for this chapter. Next time is the wedding. Nothing much else to say except thank you to all the people who have tolerated this story. It's blown up quite a bit but not to the extent of Just Act Casually. I guess sequels are never as good and this one doesn't have as strong of a hook in the first chapter (that's just my take). Just two chapters left.**


	13. Chapter 13

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: Just two more chapters to go. I wanted to do something that actually subverted what this story has been for the most part. So, this isn't all fluff and stuff.**

Chapter 13: Wedding Bells

"Fuck!" Ruby hissed as she awoke. The alarm blasted and rang in her head. The bed she had slept on was disheveled. Nothing was organized at all. She had a killer hangover, a toothache and worst yet, it was her wedding day. "I knew I shouldn't have drank last night."

It was at that moment that Ruby realized she had no self control. She really shouldn't have even had that glass of wine last night. Let alone, let that glass turn into an entire bottle. As she washed herself up and went about her morning routine, her splitting head reflected on how much of a dumbass she was.

She could never relent in her fights against Grimm. She never aired on the side of caution while at school. She always tried being friends with people no matter the circumstances. She could never turn down booze. She couldn't ever keep it in her pants, especially with Jaune. Sex used to be the one thing she had the inkling of restraint with, more so than Yang. But ever since she had started dating Jaune, she had fooled around with him every single time she got even a little horny.

The result was a baby, an engagement ring, a lucrative huntress career, and a hangover on her wedding day. She ran through her usual hangover cures to try clearing her head before she had to walk down the aisle. That's when she realized Jaune wasn't there.

"That's right." She said to herself. She was on Patch, at her dad's house. She had taken Citrine here to spend the night. It was at the chapel on Patch that they were to be wed. The same priest who had bound her parents in holy matrimony was conducting the ceremony. She wasn't going to see Jaune until she was walking down the aisle. Which would be in just a few hours. She slipped into the kitchen to get some coffee and food.

"Hey pumpkin." Tai greeted her. Citrine was already in a highchair, slurping up some pudding. There were several plates of pancakes scattered on the table. "Today is the big day."

"Yeah." Ruby huffed.

"What's wrong?" Tai asked.

"Hangover." Ruby answered after a pause.

"What?!" Tai shouted, causing Ruby's ears to ring. "You had one glass last night."

"Yeeeeeeah...more like...twelve...when you weren't looking."

"I have half a mind to ground you." Tai said. "Where did you even get it?"

"I found it in the bathroom closet...I think. I don't know. It's kind of a blur."

"God...damn it Ruby that was supposed to be for your honeymoon."

"Shush." Ruby cringed. She leaned over Citrine and gave her a smooch. "See baby...if I ever yell at you...it's because I get it from My daddy." She laughed.

"It's called being a parent." Tai said as he crossed his arms.

"That's right Citrine." Ruby said as she picked the baby up.

"Maaaamamama." The baby mumbled, sending Ruby's heart a-flutter. The six-month-old only had only two things that could even be construed as words and Ruby had decided she interprets them as mama and daddy.

"Anyway, we should get going." Tai said. "If Winter is any indication, Weiss is really anal about you being there early so she can personally oversee the final touches."

"Okay, hold on, what the fuck is with you and Winter?"

"We just have a healthy professional relationship." Tai said awkwardly.

"Oh God no, please Dad, tell me you didn't fuck her."

"That's gross. She's only a few years older than you and Yang…" Tai said.

"Thank God."

"But we were drunk."

"God...fucking….whatever." Ruby gave herself a headache.

"It was just once. It was before Yang and Weiss hooked back up. And we vowed to never speak of it again."

"And I wonder where Yang gets it from." Ruby massaged her temples.

Tai grabbed the keys and quickly changed Citrine. He put his own tuxedo on and guided Ruby into the car. It only took them a few minutes to get to the chapel. Ruby was greeted in the prep room by her bridesmaids. They all wore beautiful red dresses. Ruby's was going to be stark white.

"You look like shit." Yang teased.

"No!" Weiss yelled at a worker. "This one goes here, that one goes there. Got it?" The worker shook his head. "Amateurs." Weiss huffed. "Ruby, seriously, did you get ANY sleep last night."

"Oh I had plenty of sleep. Too much to drink though." Ruby said.

"You dolt." Weiss face palmed.

"Don't get all pissy because I have no self-control." Ruby said.

"Your lack of self-control is my main motivator for getting pissy."

"Seriously, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were the one getting married." Yang joked.

Ruby spent the next hour getting washed, dressed and squeezed into her tight white dress. Even though it was tight, she liked it. She used to love corsets, and still wore one while on hunts, and this wasn't any different from that. She also liked how it accentuated her breasts, which was always a plus.

Where Ruby disapproved was how it clung to her legs and ankles. Ruby loathed heels and despised long dresses. As someone whose semblance was speed, loved running track and field, and anything else involving flexing her legs, she hated how the dress hung. She hated that she was barely going to be able to walk. It made her sweat and even made her irrationally nervous, like she wasn't going to be able to move right and she was going to embarrass herself.

"You look beautiful." Blake said.

"Ah, the things I do for Jaune." Ruby huffed. "I just want to get this boring shitty part over and get to the reception and the honeymoon."

"Of course you do." Weiss said. "But you want to do this right. Trust me, this day is one that will stay with you forever. It'll be right up there with Citrine being born."

"Where is the little sun-spot anyway? Yang asked.

"Family." Ruby answered. "My dad is with her but she's getting passed off to Jaune's mom when it gets closer."

"Is Dad watching her while you and Jaune tour Mistral on your back?" Yang asked.

"No, Jaune's parents wanted to watch her." Ruby said.

"Well that sucks." Yang said.

"Jaune's parents aren't that bad. Sure, they piss me off but they never liked me. Even way the fuck before Jaune and I got together. They didn't like some cute girl hanging around their son when he already had a girlfriend."

"Ah." Yang said.

"And they still aren't particularly fond of me. They'd rather it be Pyrrha here right now. They all loved her. I hated how they treated me like a threat to Jaune's happily ever after."

"Doesn't help that Pyrrha has awfully competitive." Penny noted. "I have the spare parts to prove it."

"Yeah, well thankfully I'm fucking done competing with anyone." Ruby huffed. "I won. Jaune's mine. I've got my trophy."

"Jaune has your trophy in his pants." Yang teased.

"And you know I'm milking it for all its worth tonight." Ruby said. She then felt a pinch on her back as the dress finished getting situated.

"All done." Weiss said. Ruby looked in the mirror. The flashing of cameras annoyed her. But damn did she look good. Weiss and her people did a good job planning things out.

"You look beautiful." Yang said.

"I always do." Ruby said. She put a hand in her exposed cleavage. "You think Jaune's head can fit here?"

"We'll find out later, I'm sure." Blake said.

"Damn right you will." Ruby did a practice twirl but nearly fell over. "How pissed would you be if I tore this up at the reception?"

"Thought you'd say something like that." Weiss groaned. "It's adjustable. For the reception, I'll help you shorten the skirt length and make it more comfortable and viable with your dancing shoes."

"Thanks, you're the best."

"I do try." Weiss said.

Then the bells started ringing. Everyone got into position. Ruby lined up with her dad so he could walk her down the aisle. All of Ruby's friends were there. As soon as she stepped out she felt her heart lodge itself in her throat. She couldn't breathe. She felt like she was in a dream. Everyone was so well dressed, especially Jaune, looking just as uncomfortable as she did in his overpriced monkey-suit.

Ruby's headache spiked under all the eyes watching her. She was reminded again just how stupid she was to get shitfaced the night before her wedding. Jaune could tell what was wrong. He just smirked and shook his head, which annoyed her even more.

They exchanged silent, judging glances. He was making fun of her lack of restraint and she was playing defense. This silent game of stares between them allowed Ruby to tone out the priest's mundane words until it was time to read off their vows.

Neither one of them had anything special in their vows. The important thing is that no matter what they always had each other's backs. And now the world knew it too. When it came down to the wire, Ruby's urge to throw herself at him increased. She could easily make a fool of both of them, easily.

"You may kiss the bride." The priest said.

Something hesitated in Ruby. Jaune leaned in but she stopped him and looked lovingly into his eyes, creeping closer to him but controlling the pace. He smiled at her and whispered.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing restraint." Ruby whispered back as she grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a long and loving kiss. Ruby showed way more restraint than she thought possible by keeping the kiss slow and melodic. A weight fell off her shoulders and she could properly breathe again. Everyone cheered. Bells continued to ring. And the newly wedded couple was off to the reception.

"That...may have been the best kiss ever." Jaune said.

"A few people told me I have no restraint. Proved them wrong. That's what I did." Ruby's words were confident as she clung to him.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Jaune said.

"What makes you say that? It's not like I wasn't going to kiss you. I had to."

"No it's not that." Jaune said.

"Then what is it?" Ruby asked.

"The fact that your hand is in my pants stroking my manhood." Jaune grunted.

"Shit, sorry." Ruby's hand jerked up.

"No one said to stop." Jaune said.

"No, no...I'm going to wait." Ruby nodded. "Until after the reception. I think that's all I can handle though. I'm going to be lucky to get through the night without sneaking off with you."

"You are, insatiable Ruby Rose."

"I am your wife, Ruby Rose-Arc." Ruby said. Jaune put a hand on her thigh and leaned his head into her cleavage, just like she wanted.

"This is going to be a fun honeymoon." Jaune said. "Just you, me, a hotel room in a beautiful kingdom."

"With plenty of lube if needed." Ruby said. "And bugspray." Ruby said as she stroked his head.

"Sometimes I think you subconsciously bring everything back to sex."

"What makes you say that?" Ruby asked.

"Your hand is back in my pants."

"Well excuse me." Ruby said. "I'm not even horny. Just bored."

"Well, you'll be getting quite the workout tonight." Jaune said. Ruby's eyes widened and she blushed. "On the dancefloor that is." Jaune teased.

"Works for me." Ruby leaned into his shoulder. "I love you. I don't think I genuinely say that enough."

"I love you too." Jaune said.

 **AN: Well, there you have it. Not exactly sure what I'm doing with the final chapter. It'll be more of an epilogue than anything. So, until then, thank you all for reading this kinda trashy fic.**


	14. Chapter 14

Just Act Maturely

 **AN: Thank you all one last time for reading and enjoying this story. This is the end. The epilogue. I'm going on break again after this chapter and going to focus on video stuff. But, there is a nice little teaser for my next story in place of a final Author's Note.**

Chapter 14: Honeymoon

Jaune gave up and kicked the door open. Ruby laughed like crazy in his arms. They had reached the hotel and were ready to relax. Jaune threw Ruby onto the bed and leaned over her, capturing her lips. They were both dripping with excitement, ready for a week of excess and irresponsibility. One last week to indulge in their every vice before they had to return to the life of a parent permanently.

"You're all mine and there's nothing you can do about it." Ruby threatened. "For the next seven days, your ass is mine."

"Same to you." Jaune said as he peppered light kisses on her breasts

"I already miss Citrine though." Ruby admitted.

"It'll only be a week." Jaune said. "And she's in good hands."

"Do I look worried?" Ruby asked. "I know she's in good hands but she's not in my hands. There are few things in this world that have made me cry with tears of joy like when she first said mama."

"I know." Jaune sighed. "We've learned a lot these last six months."

"And the nine months before that." Ruby wrapped her arms around his neck. "I feel like a completely different person than I was back then."

"Well, you've added mother and wife to your list of titles."

"Not to mention only going on, what, two or three missions in that time."

"Something like that." Jaune noted.

"I just got to learn how to control my impulses." Ruby shook her head.

"You've been doing fine since we got here."

"Because we're talking about our baby girl." Ruby said. "Otherwise those pants would have been torn off by now."

"Well then…" He rested his forehead against hers. "What do you want to do first?"

"You." She answered.

"More specifically?"

"I say we start with your dick in my mouth and see how things go from there." She tossed him over and straddled his waist. "Thank you Jaune for being the best friend I could ever dream of. Thank you for being so good to me."

"Hey...you're the one who seduced me first."

"Only because I was...I am an impulsive mess of a human being who wanted to thank you for sticking by my side no matter how heart broken I got over lesser men."

"It's the right thing to do." He kissed her hand. "Just like marrying you after we had a kid."

"And now we're back on Citrine." Ruby threw herself off his groin and laid next to him. The pair stared at the ceiling together. Jaune closed his eyes as Ruby day dreamed about what their life with Citrine was going to be like.

Ruby had clearly spent her time pregnant reading books on the subject. Not that she had anything else productive to do. By the time Ruby got to what Citrine may be like as a teenager, Jaune stopped her by leaning over, grabbing her hand and her thigh and kissing her shoulder.

"Slow down, we've got time left to be lazy." Jaune said. "I'm sure our baby will grow into a fine young woman with role models like ourselves."

"Yeah, an alcoholic and a sex fiend." Ruby scoffed.

"And whatever I am." Jaune teased. "Look, I'm sure you can stop drinking so much. You pretty much proved it by having a hangover on our wedding. When you started drinking, it was out of sadness and sorrow. Now, you just drink out of boredom. You have the attention span of a nat. It's always fighting or drinking or watching junky movies or fucking with you and if you're not doing any of those things you just get bored and sleep."

"You know me so well."

"Well, now with Citrine you won't be drinking out of boredom anymore. You'll have a daughter to take care of. And when she gets older you'll be able to teach her all the girly things you know. And when she's older than that you'll have someone else to vent to that understands."

"Yeah, yeah." Ruby huffed. "We've really come along way from those fighting dreamers at summer camp when we first met."

"We've come along way from being Beacon students." Jaune said. "We basically saved the world and does anyone care? Most people don't even remember how bad things were. Most people don't know how bad things almost got and would have been if not for you. I think that's what I love most about you. You do all these wonderful things and don't ask for anything in return."

"Is that why you offer so much to me?"

"Well...it's mutually beneficial." He smirked.

"Well...I think you're ready for your exclusive." Ruby said in a sultry voice. She spun around and slowly, agonizingly pulled his pants down. She then fished his member out of his pants and gave it a few practice strokes.

"Now that we're married and can shit talk each other all in the same breath we love each other...how big is my penis?"

"That's what you're thinking." Ruby shook her head.

"The only ever time I asked you, you said it was fine."

"Well it is."

"Yeah but how does it compare?"

"I don't fucking know. You want me to do a freaking prison line up with your dick being shown side-by-side with Oscar, Whitley, Scarlet and all the other guys I've slept with?"

"If that's what it takes than never mind." Jaune said.

"Well, Scarlet's is small. The rest of you are average I guess. I've never seen a dick and was like: 'Oh my, look at the size of that thing!' I'm not a size-queen like Blake."

"Wait, is Sun big?"

"Well, probably the biggest I've seen. But that's not why Blake likes him so much."

"Yeah, he's handsome, charming, noble, has a sunny disposition that makes it really hard for her to go back to her stupid teenager tendencies."

"Well, that's why they're dating and not just fuck buddies but the reason why she fucks him is because of the tail."

"Wow, lots to unpack there." Jaune said. "I thought Blake was the one always reading smut."

"She does. That's what gives her all her ideas. And if not for that, Blake and Sun would still have a good relationship. There's plenty of awesome relationships that don't have hardly any sex. But Blake and Sun have sex almost as much as we do and it's all because of the tail."

"How the fuck do you know this?" Jaune asked. "Oh right, everyone of our friends has constant threesomes."

"No...I mean yes...they do and I have but...I know because Yang has banged them both individually and together and relayed back to me. I couldn't believe it so I tried it for myself. Seriously, Blake really loves using that tail."

"As strangely arousing as all that is, I'd rather get back to the task at hand. Namely, your hand, currently holding my dick in place."

"Oh, right." Ruby laughed as she kept going.

The next few minutes didn't have a chance for conversation. And after that they were done with conversation all together. It was a symphony of sinful slaps, sweat and screams of pleasure. They had somehow relented for the days leading up to their wedding and their trip to the hotel. With their conversation over it was time to cut loose and unleash every ounce of passion they had for each other. Which is mostly metaphorical but passion is also another name for cum in this case.

By the end of their energy, Ruby was ready to pass out. Jaune was in a daze as well. Their naked bodies curled into each other, enjoying each other's warmth. Jaune really wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. He knew full well that this was basically the last time they could just lay around and fuck all day.

They'd find time to do it anyway. They always had the privacy of their bedroom while Citrine was asleep to assure that they never had to go through a real drought. But so much of that first year together was categorized by lewd behavior. So many days just laying around making love. But alas, those days were over. Now, it was the age of parenthood.

"You're amazing." Jaune said.

"I know." Ruby sighed. "You are too."

"Anyone could do what I did. You created a whole new life."

"Just as many people could do that. Everyone has a mother. Not everyone has a lover. Let alone a lover as...loving...as you." Ruby yawned.

"I guess that's one way to look at things." Jaune said. "But even if we have another kid it won't be the same as our first."

"Yeah...and that's a real possibility too." Ruby said with a laugh. "After how you just railed me it'd be a miracle if I don't get pregnant."

"Well, at least we'll know what to expect."

"Shitty cravings, uncontrollable horniness, mood swings and nine months of being inactive." Ruby listed off. "Followed by a whole day of the worst fucking pain I've ever felt in my life."

"Well...if that's the case...I'll definitely need to get a more stable job." Jaune said. "Gotta be able to support my girls when they're at home."

"You do that." Ruby said. "If that's your plan, I'll follow through."

"Thank you for being such a bad-ass wife."

"You're welcome." Ruby said.

"And thanks for being an equally bad-ass mother."

"Oh my God, Citrine is going to be such a little bad-ass. I'll be damned if she doesn't beat the shit out of any kids that try picking on her. I ain't gonna tolerate any bullies picking on my girl and I ain't about to hit a punk ass kid either. I'm gonna train Citrine so that she doesn't take anyone's shit when they're trying to be mean."

"Ad I'll treat her how to take a joke." Jaune said.

"Sounds good to me." Ruby kissed him one more time. "Good night, my love."

"Good night, my beloved Rose-Arc." Jaune held her close as she nodded off to sleep.

 **AN: Coming soon…**

 **An old warehouse. Members of the White Fang open up a bunch of crates. A woman with red hair and a katana kicks open the crate.**

 **Eve: Bingo!**

 **The lights go out and an eerie cackle echoes through the room.**

 **Grunt 1: What's that?**

 **Grunt 2: Who's there?!**

 **Nightshade: Your worse nightmare.**

 **An invisible figure fires bullets into the group. Moments later he has Eve around the throat, holding her over the roof.**

 **Eve: What do you want?**

 **Nightshade: For crime to be pulled out from its root.**

 **In the Vacuo Police headquarters…**

 **Helios: Vacuo's crime rates are skyrocketing. Criminals are fleeing Mistral by the dozens.**

 **Johnny: It's this Nightshade character. He's got them running scared.**

 **Sun: A bunch of scared criminals coming here will undoubtedly bring the Grimm.**

 **Flask wraps his tendrils around an unsuspecting child.**

 **Nova: That won't be a problem.**

 **Sun: YOU...need to focus on your job as the Summer Maiden. We need outside help.**

 **Johnny: Well, I happen to know a pretty popular team that just graduated and are heading here for vacation.**

 **Nova: Hmph.**

 **Team PNGC line up on a stage and strike heroic poses as the cameras take pictures. Prim holds her sword into the air. Chenzi points his finger skyward. Nickel reserves herself behind her team. Glade gets an annoyed feeling about their greeting.**

 **Prim is surrounded in yellow light.**

 **Nickel is cast in a metallic blue light.**

 **Glade radiates with a bright red.**

 **Chenzi sparks with an electric orange aura.**

 **Nightshade lurches in a dark shadow.**

 **A camera man takes photos of Prim.**

 **A pair of butterfly Faunas aim arrows at Hina.**

 **A man in green jumps through a mirror.**

 **A man in a mask unleashes a dark yellow gas.**

 **A man in a lion mask puts a hand on Prim's shoulder.**

 **Johnny fires a white light.**

 **Nova surrounds herself in a purple flame.**

 **Tyrian struts on an ancient ruin.**

 **A group of ninjas chase Nova.**

 **A flying masked kid creates a dark green flame.**

 **Flask sticks to the shadows.**

 **Eiess summons a griffon.**

 **Citrine raises her shield.**

 **Prim: Ah, I love this hot weather.**

 **Glade: I find it miserable.**

 **Nickel hangs out in Helios' office while he does paperwork.**

 **Hina massages Glade's shoulders while he rests.**

 **Hina: I've seen you fight. You're at least as strong as she is.**

 **Glade: Whatever.**

 **He kicks over a can with Prim's picture on it.**

 **Prim spins around and summons her "Fighting Dreamer" construct: A construct shaped like a person wielding weapons.**

 **Nickel corners Nightshade in an alley and draws her sword.**

 **Glade dodges an arrow and summons his "Heart's Grow" construct: shaped like the upper-half of a brawler.**

 **Chenzi points his finger in the air and fires a bolt of lighting into a Grimm.**

 **Nickel slashes at Nightshade but he dodges.**

 **Glade stabs at Flask's tendrils.**

 **Chenzi slams his hammer into Tyrian's chest.**

 **Prim fires a beam from Corcea Mors, aimed at a giant Grimm.**

 **The man in the lion mask slides his manicured hand around Prim's throat.**

 **Lionhead: It's too noisy in this town. So go, clear these rats out. But stay out of my way. Forget you ever thought about investigating statue garden. Or I will kill you, and everyone you love.**

 **RWBYond Home**

 **Volume 1: The Villains in Vacuo**

 **Chapter 1: The Shadow Strikes**

 **Coming October 7, 2017**


End file.
